VulvaLoveLovely

Meet our Models: Aurora

2012-01-27T19:40:00.001-08:00

I will stay true to my name just as I am trying to stay true to myself. My name is Aurora. It has taken me so long to sit down and write my story because I am still unsure of where it all started really.

Whether it started when I lost my virginity at 14, or if it started when my curiosity did.
See I didn’t have parents that hushed things away to keep me from growing up. I had my mother, which to keep me safe, taught me about my body; what it did and how it did it at a very young age. I was 5 when I learned that sex was when a man and woman intertwined, that it feels good, and that a baby can come from all this. She even taught me how the baby is formed and showed me all the stages of development. Now don’t get me wrong, I had never even been told stories of a stork bringing a baby to your doorstep. I am so thankful that my mother told me about everything and I was defiantly happy being the youngest kid I knew who had seen the truth. But not being ignorant did not stop me. I wanted to know more. I wanted to know how it felt. Now I’m not saying I went out at 5 and tried to have sex, or that I would even talk to anyone about it.

I had a lot of friends on the block, and I had a lot of sleepovers, and without ever exchanging words about sexual conduct I would coax my girlfriends to experiment with me. Scissoring, kissing with tongues, and rubbing up on each other became a midnight secret between me and my friends for many years. Always sneaking around, and our curiosity for more, I began to feel ashamed of what I was doing and eventually myself.

Around age 9 I was caught by my friends mother. I was kissing her daughter while she laid over me, I had never been so embarrassed in my life and I kept praying to myself that she wouldn’t say anything to my mother in the morning. It paid off, my mother never found out. And I became so disgusted with myself and I hid everything away. When my friends would tap on my shoulder to ‘play’ I would turn a cold shoulder. Now that wasn’t always the case, but now anytime I had met anyone new that part of my life stayed ‘private’.

Even thought my first experiences were with females I was still attracted to the opposite sex. And when I was 13 I had my first experience with one. Then when I was 14 I lost my virginity. I think my age had a large role in how much was added to my disgust with myself.

I went through a lot in a short period of time after that. And a lot of self hatred as well.

But now I am a mother to the most beautiful girl, and it seems that her birth has been my transformation. I have gone from self loathing to self loving just seeing what beauty being a woman really can be. Not only did giving birth to my daughter change my outlook on myself but it transformed my body as well. And seeing my new vulva has led me to love my past vulva as well and all the things that came with it.

Being a woman and being capable of the most beautiful thing in life, creating it, is a gift. Cherish it, worship your body, love yourself and let yourself love you.

-Aurora

Year of the Vulva Pt. 1: Lower Prices = Vulva Love

2012-01-27T08:24:00.000-08:00

You are going to hear me say it a vagillion times:

This year is the Year of the Vulva.

And that doesn't only apply to women changing the world (which is going to happen this year)

It applies to VulvaLoveLovely
This year is our year.

So the first really big, freakin awesome new change?

Last night I was up late and had too many glasses of chocolate soy milk and I lowered all of the prices on our pendants!

Most by $20, some by as much at $70.

The average price has gone from $63 to $48.

{It was a crazy night}

Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself, Missy.

Financially, things are tough for all of us.

But the reason we started Vulva Love Lovely was to spread the Vulva Love.

The best way to do that?

Having you Vulva~licious women wearing our pendants so that other women start a conversation with you about it.

The Skinny and the Full Book Review all rolled into one: Vulva101

2012-01-26T21:53:00.000-08:00

A new book came out featuring photos of 101 Vulvas, so of course I had to read it. I have a bit to say: so the first part of this is the Skinny followed by notes to fill her out.

The Good:

The book featured 3 photos of each model at different angles, really giving you a 3 dimensional image

The photos were, for the most part, unedited. So the natural colors of the Vulva came shining through. It was definitely a refreshing deviation

The photos were taken with a variety of light sources: we loved this because when a woman looks at her Vulva for herself its not going to be in studio lighting.

The book featured a really good number of photos, with 101 models and 3 photos a piece at least

The book has some really awesome resources listed: it mentioned the documentary: the perfect vagina and its how we found out about Clitoraid

The Bad:

The models stories were almost entirely unimportant. The few that were presented were paraphrased by the author, so the end product was really the author's interpretation of the story.

Almost all of the text and comments from the models were not about the project, the models experiences, or how the project really affected the models. Instead they were about the photographer and how he's not a creeper.

There was very little ethnic diversity in the 101 Vulva.

There was very little lovin' given to the bush in the 101 Vulva.

The book takes a round about way of sorta kinda endorsing labiaplasty. We expand upon this in the text notes below.

The Epic:

The book included several women that had undergone sex reassignment surgery.

Here are two of the pages in the book.
I really, really like that there are 3 different pics of each model. It does an excellent job of giving you a full view of the woman.
When we look for ourselves its good to know that we look different depending on what angle we are using.

Pieces of the book that I had to share:

For Better
* " Witnessing her reaction and transition was probably one of the most powerful moments of this experience for me. If this book helps only her, then it was one hundred percent worth the effort" pg. 13
~Words from my own heart. If you can change the world of just one person, you have changed the world.
*" The Hawaiian word punani (which means 'vulva') is a contraction of the words pua and nani which literally mean 'beautiful flower'". Pg 16
*From a model: "I like piercings.... I thought having a very noticeable "landmark" might help out the fellas. Not so"- {lol}, Pg 21

For Worse:

* "Maybe it had to be a man doing this." pg 13

~Excuse me? Wait... what am I doing?

Skinny, fin. Now for

More Notes

*Vulva, a fragrance. Definitely unimpressed.

On pg 13 we get a short and sweet endorsement for Vulva: Original: which is a roll on scent that replicates the smell of Vulva accurately and is based off of the scent of a 25 year old, blond, thin German woman.

Excuse my language here but f*ck that, with a capitol F. Why you ask? Click on the linked text and you'll see why.

*I completely understand the perceived need to justify this kind of work and establish that you are in fact not a creeper. I really, really do. I get just as much hate mail as I can take. BUT, spending 85% of the text doing it can negate what you are saying.People think to themselves: if your work is justified, then why are you so worried about pointing it out?

*On labiaplasty: "(one model says) It was an awesome thing for me!" .....I firmly believe people have the right to make any alterations to their bodies they see fit" Now, don't get us wrong, we completely agree. The thing that bothers us is that there is no alternate opinion, just one woman telling us her labiaplasty was awesome. For the most part women going for labiaplasty are in a never ending cycle of not being happy with themselves. Once they have their labia 'fixed' they will find something else that needs to be fixed. Its the very same reason any recovering anorexic will tell you that they NEVER hit their ideal weight. They loose that 10 lbs they wanted to.... but they look at themselves and decide they need to loose 5 more. So yeah, women should be able to do whatever they want with their bodies. The problem is: this is non-reversible and it won't treat the cause. None of this is really talked about in the book to any detail. So we have an issue with it because the text is sort of leaning towards telling women that they have the right to make a decision (which they do), but leaves you with enough info that it would be a very uninformed decision based on one direct line from one woman and the author's sum up of that one woman's experience.

*The cover is really off putting. Its masculine x100 and almost violent. It's not until the end of the book that you see its a manipulated photo of a Vulva. When I see it I always hear "This is Sparta!" shouted in my head.

All in all, I think this is a pretty great book. Its hard for me to be 100% in love with it: this is what I do for a living, I'm passionate to a fault. And even with that, I absolutely loved the photos and would definitely recommend buying the book because it does a beautiful job of showing you a wide range of Vulvas in lighting and positions that you are likely to encounter when you look for yourself.

The Perfect Vagina: The Documentary

2012-01-24T09:36:00.000-08:00

For your pleasure, the full documentary.

The perfect vagina from heather leach on Vimeo.

*Some warning: you see a labiaplasty.
It will make you feel it in your toes: but seeing it really opened my eyes to the incredible amount of shame a woman must feel to go through with that. Its only a few seconds and if your anything like me, it will make you cry.

Mrs Myrna Monday: What Causes Early or Prolonged Periods? The Traveling Menstruation Bug

2012-01-23T07:35:00.000-08:00

Mrs. Myrna Mondays:

Where we answer all of the questions you have about your Lady Parts

Dear Mrs. Myrna,I have a question that is puzzling me. I went overseas, from Australia to Japan and even though it wasn't remotely due, my period started. Since then it really hasn't stopped (it's been 2 weeks and now I'm back in Australia), in fact it just started up in earnest again. Do you know why this sort of thing happens when you travel? I've heard from other people that it seems to happen when your body goes a long distance but I don't know why.
Sincerely,
The Wanderer

Dear Wanderer,

Because of the correlation between your traveling and the wonkiness of your period it would seem a logical cause. But, there isn't much in the way of showing any link between traveling and the onset of your menstrual cycle. Its much more likely that a different change has caused your period to start early and then try to re-align by starting again closer to when you normally begin menstruating.

So what causes early and or prolonged periods?

There are a bunch of things that can do this. Both psychological and physiological.

Psychological:

*Anxiety or Stress (both of which pretty often go hand in hand with traveling)

*Fatigue (Again, pretty standard with traveling- especially when you are adjusting to a new time zone)

*Overwork

Physiological:

*Taking new meds / switching meds

(Changing birth control is a HUGE culprit, but starting or changing any med can do it.)

**Antibiotics interfere with any birth control you are on, which can not only through off your menstrual cycle but can cause you to get pregnant if you don't use a back up method**

*Caffeine

*Weight -(Have you lost/gained weight?)

*Other Women (Our cycles have this freakin awesome ability to sync up. Are you staying with a group of women while traveling?)

Its pretty likely the cause of the unpredictability of your cycle is one or a combination of these. Your body should get back into it's normal groove and your period should regulate pretty quickly. If you have this happen again next cycle, or you continue to bleed intermittently call your Certified Nurse Midwife or ObGyn to schedule an appointment as this could be an early sign of several different problems.

Let's Learn About Mentruation! Vintage Sex Education Video

2012-01-23T06:47:00.000-08:00

*So, how does the egg get from the ovary into the fallopian tube? Why, via Menstruation Magic of course!

During Menstruation:

Do:

*Bathe or Shower (But not with freezing or scalding water! It's ok to bathe in water of an extreme temperature generally, but if you are menstruating and you do this some unknown bad Menstruation Mojo will take over your Uterus)
*Wash your Hair (Dry it quickly! Bears can smell menstruation in wet hair)
*Swim (But not on the first days of your cycle. If you do that then it's sharks that will smell your menstruation. Even in a pool you want to be careful- while they can't get you there they will smell your menstruation and know)

*Dances and Picnics are cool.

Vulva: Original- Objectification you can Smell!

2012-01-22T15:45:00.000-08:00

There's a new product on the market and we don't even need to tell you why it is completely, horrendously disgusting.

The website will do that for you.

*For your own well being, we marked out the name of said product. If you really want to google it, trust us, it wont be hard*

Now, don't get me wrong.
Finding women to be sexy, alluring, erotic: that's all good. We are all of those things and MORE.
But this takes creeper to a whole new level. And for all of us brunettes, redheads, gray goddesses and other non-blonds: apparently our Vulva's don't smell erotic enough for the male public . That goes for anyone over the age of 19 and over size 1 in skinny jeans.

Dear strange men that I don't know:
GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY VULVA
She doesn't know you and she doesn't want to know you.

2012: Year of the Vulva? Absolutely.

2012-01-17T07:07:00.000-08:00

The Chinese new year is just days away and everyone is all excited about the year of the Dragon.
Which is nice.

But, I'm pretty sure everyone knows its the year of the Vulva.

And that doesn't mean people born in this year wont pair well with a snake but would do great with a horse. That's silly.
It means that this year will birth something new and amazing for women.
And I'm actually for real about this one. As soon as midnight hit this year I felt this amazing electricity in the air. If we want it, this year is ours.

If we as women come together as a united front, something crazy awesome is going to happen and the world is never going to forget it.

And don't give me any of that, "we can't change the world" crap.

Because we've done it already.

But what can you do?

*Sponsor a girl's education
*Adopt a Clitoris
*Volunteer at a battered women's center
*Switch to cloth pads and donate your un-used disposable menstrual products to a woman's shelter

*Challenge a friend or a group of friends to take our New Year's Resolution Challenge.
Sure, were past the new year but its never too late to start loving yourself.
*Support women-owned businesses
*Support women and body positive businesses

*Talk to other women in a way that shows you refuse to be shy or ashamed of your body.

~Talk about the beauty standard, talk about menstruation and what it is to be a woman. Make the topic of being female far from taboo for the female community. Word can be viral, talk about it and let it spread.

Decide what it is you are going to do. It doesn't have to come from this list. Hell, create your own list. Just decide to do something. Even if its just one thing. Post it here, be accountable. Change the world.

Meet our Models: Sapherea

2012-01-13T15:39:00.000-08:00

My vulva has given me more than I could ever express. She was the gateway to my faith, and to my (deeply buried) sexuality. But, only after I told her she was beautiful. Only after I stopped hating both her and myself.

I grew up, as many girls do, being told that I was wrong, that I was unworthy, that I was dirty, and that I was inferior. I never believed any of it for a second. I was an extremely shy child, but was surprisingly assertive (and, occasionally, aggressive) in defending girls. I hated hearing people constantly talk about how girls were mean, and shallow, and needed male friends to “soften” them. As far as I could see, girls were kind, sweet, friendly, wonderful, and far more humble than the boys and men who insulted them. Of course, some girls did fit the misogynistic stereotype. However, I felt that their behavior was in reaction to how they were treated, how they were perceived, and how they felt they were expected to behave. I was upset that no one else seemed to be able to see this, but I was also upset with the girls for allowing themselves to be ruled and controlled by submitting themselves to the stereotype. These feelings that women are incredible, wonderful, and beautiful, no matter what this patriarchal society says, have always been strong within me, from the youngest age I can remember.

Even when I was told that my destiny was to submit to a man one day, to live beneath him, to follow him… Even when I was told that I was disgusting, that I was filthy, that I was secondary, that I was wrong… Even when I was told that my own body didn’t belong to me, wasn’t mine to make decisions for… Even when I was told that my body was literally the property of a patriarchal god, and that I was only being allowed to “borrow” it to perform His will… Even when I was told that menstruation was sickening, a painful punishment from God for something I didn’t do… Deep inside, I always said, “No.”

However, over time, society and my parents’ religion taught me to hate myself. I clearly remember, at age fourteen, praying to God through my tears to forgive me. What did I think my sin was? Becoming aroused after reading a love scene in a horror novel. I begged God to take away any and all sexual feelings, thoughts, and impulses. I got my wish. I scared myself so badly, and hated myself so much that I never felt the slightest bit of arousal again until I was almost twenty years old. I was completely cut off from anything to do with sexuality. I now see that I was so ignorant that it made me vulnerable. My freshman year of college, we took a survey in our Bio 188 class about sexual health and activities. It may as well have been written in ancient Greek. When I didn’t understand the first question, I turned to my two friends and asked, “What’s oral sex? Is that… that’s kissing, right? That means kissing?” I was eighteen years old.

Something slowly changed in me throughout my freshman and sophomore years at college. There was something I desperately wanted, but couldn’t identify. I began to tentatively research different types of feminism. I found Betty Dodson. And then, I found Vulva Love Lovely. The first time I saw one of her pendants, my face flushed, and I quickly scrolled down to hide the picture. I stared at my keyboard for a long time, and then slowly scrolled back up. After several long moments, something broke inside of me. Tears came to my eyes. I had never seen anything so beautiful. I looked over every page of VLL’s website, clicked on the links, watched the videos. For about two weeks, I spent all of my free time researching information, history, artwork, and books on the vulva, the Yoni, the uterus, and menstruation. There were all these women who loved their bodies, who loved each other, who accepted themselves, and accepted each other. They didn’t just respect each other... They adored, they loved, they celebrated themselves and each other. They supported each other, were there for each other. They openly talked about their vulvas, their uteruses, their menarche experiences… They celebrated menstruation, saying it was wonderful, it was vital, it gave life, and filled the world with beauty. They said their vulvas were beautiful, like flowers, or seashells, or butterfly wings… They called their vulvas “gateways to life,” saying they were sacred, they were holy, and they were absolutely stunning. They said that all of these most feminine of things weren’t disgusting, or weak, or punishments. They said that these things made them powerful, and strong, and beautiful. They loved being women. And, I wanted to be one of them.

I remember the first day that I took out a mirror to see if my vulva was as beautiful as all of those on VLL’s website. I remember the first day that I attended my Goddess Temple. My vulva led me to my faith. She led me to the incredible wombyn and Priestesses there, all of whom are now so important and so vital to my life. On a spiritual level, I’m happier than I’ve ever been. I’ve never felt so right, so content, so loved, so accepted, and so enthralled by life.

After I began to think of my vulva as beautiful, she gave me everything. I realized my own sexuality, found my faith, and became a member of two incredible communities of women—The Order of the Clitorati, and Temple.

My vulva was once nothing but an empty, dark, shameful hole between my legs. But now, she is a radiant flower, stunning in her beauty and power, the gateway to everything that makes me a wombyn who loves being a wombyn.

This New Year: Change the Way You SEE, Not the Way you LOOK - A Body Positive Blog

2012-01-06T09:50:00.000-08:00

Every year around this time Women all over the world decide that they are going to something that: instead of changing the way they feel about themselves will make them feel worse about their bodies.

And you're picking up exactly what I'm puttin down.

Loose weight, fit into those skinny jeans, blah blah so on and so on I look like crap.

Now, don't get me wrong. Wanting to eat right, get fit and healthy, work your cardio: those are fantastic.

BUT

Loosing weight to look good is NOT the same thing.

And here's a hard truth: You will never be happy with your weight if all you are doing is trying to look good.

You'll reach your goal and decide you can loose another 5 pounds, then another 2- just to get rid of love handles that only you can see.
Don't believe me? Ask almost any 'thin' woman if she is happy with her body size.

It's the way society programs us, women especially. We are never pretty enough, never thin enough.
Still don't believe me?
Crack open this month's Cosmo.
If we could be naturally beautiful then how would anyone sell us anything?

So, to the point.

If your New Years Resolution is to loose weight because you're not happy with yourself do YOURSELF something that won't make you feel worse. Do something that will change the way you see yourself.

But what, you ask?

Every time you look in a mirror,

find something you LIKE about yourself.
And Girl, I mean EVERY time.

Even if its just one thing: that freckle on your cheek, the curve of your lips, your fingers or toes.

Find something new every week and soon you will find there is a HUGE picture, a beautiful one, that you were never able to see because everything in our society tells you its not there.

The first few times it will be tough, but after a while something awesome will happen.
It will be easy as pie. And the things you like about yourself will start piling up.
Write them down on your mirror.
I write them in red lip liner pencil.

Why?

Because I am DAMN fine.

The Saints of Somalia- Your daily dose of Female Empowerment

2012-01-05T08:33:00.000-08:00

There is not a doubt in my mind: When the world finally finds peace it is going to be because of women.

My mother would always (and still does) tell me, "you cannot change the world".
I think it was her way of trying to normalize me. It was said with good intentions.

But think about how VLL has affected your life, your body image and your perception on your female-ness.
And I'm not special, just bull-headed.
These women are the same.

Don't ever let that feeling that you can't change the world stop you from doing it.

Imagine what would have been lost if these women accepted that?

Now, think of what will be lost if you do.

*Thanks to my amazing husband for sharing this video with me. <3

My Panties are all in a Twist at this Transphobic Libra Tampon Commercial

2012-01-03T08:04:00.000-08:00

Wow, this upsets me beyond belief.

As any of my friends/customers know, menstruation is kinda my thing. Its something that has been vilified since the beginning. It is something that has created a sisterhood between all women since the beginning of time and yet, since then we have been unable to utilize that bond or power because we are taught that there is something inherently wrong with menstruation.

To see a commercial in which a woman actively flashes her tampon with pride is such a deviation from the usual " Our tampons are sneakily packaged to look like candy so that no one will ever suspect if they happen to fall out of your bag, heaven forbid" aim that they normally take. It would leave me jumping for joy with excitement.

At least, that is what I thought.
But to see this huge step in advertising (which, lets face it, is a big source of cultural and social beliefs) done solely on the backbone of transphobia makes me so mad that I am literally biting my tongue. As if the underlying message of shame wasn't enough, now pride or even just acceptance of your period is ok, so long as you are putting a trans person down. There are so many profanities I want to spill out all over this computer screen.

It's a Vulva! 5 nautical animals that look like Vulva.

2011-12-30T07:21:00.000-08:00

I always knew the sea was a woman. I will use this as scientific proof.

1.) The Worm Clam

2.) The Oyster

3.) The Conch

4.) The Giant Clam

5.) The Mussel

Kegals With Victoria Vulva!

2011-12-07T08:58:00.000-08:00

Now- raise your hand if you totally just did kegals.

Wall of Vulva~Licious Heroine's and Hero's

2011-12-05T09:44:00.000-08:00

Our Honorable Wall of Vulva~Licious Heroine's and Hero's:

Because Vulva Love Spreads

These Organizations Have Been Amazing Advocates For Women and Girls

C.A.L.M.A Coaching Services

These Businesses Have Been Amazing Advocates For Women and Girls

These Women Have Been Hardcore Vulva~Licious Heroine's
Rebecca Pinder: Donated a Cloth Pad to a Girl in Sierra Leone

Vanessa Franklin: Donated a Cloth Pad to a Girl in Sierra Leone

Lara Stephenson: Donated a Cloth Pad to a Girl in Sierra Leone

Talia Williams: Donated a Cloth Pad to a Girl in Sierra Leone

Maricruz Gonzalez: Donated a Cloth Pad to a Girl in Sierra Leone

Lara Babitcheff: Donated a Cloth Pad to a Girl in Sierra Leone

Melissa Rose Meara: Donated 2 Cloth Pads to Girls in Sierra Leone

Elisabeth Stone: Donated a Cloth Pad to a Girl in Sierra Leone

Jennifer Cooper: Donated 2 Cloth Pads to Girls in Sierra Leone

Christina Adamko: Donated a Cloth Pad to a Girl in Sierra Leone

Christel Calvin: Donated 2 Cloth Pads to Girls in Sierra Leone

These Men Have Been Hardcore Vulva~Licious Hero's
Darren Carlson: Donated a Cloth Pad to a Girl in Sierra Leone
Robert Castello: Donated a Cloth Pad to a Girl in Sierra Leone
William Kramer: Donated 4 cloth pads to girls in Sierra Leone

The Holidays are Here and it's Time to Donate Some Cloth Menstrual Pads!

2011-12-05T09:15:00.000-08:00

I was contacted a few months ago by an orphanage in Sierra Leone. They have 20 girls that need cloth menstrual pads, and we just happen to have the technology they need. We are shooting for 40 pads so that each girl will have two so she wont be without when one needs to be washed.

I am more than happy to whip these pads up at no charge (each set of 4 takes about 6 hours) and cover the shipping , but I could really use some help paying for the materials.

That is where you come in.

Donate just $5 dollars and we will give 1 pad.

Click HERE to Donate $5

We even made a little thermometer. Look how cute it is:

Let's make this happen!

* As a Donor your name will be listed on our Wall of Vulva~Licious Heroines.
* If you are a business your company will be listed on our Wall of Vulva~Licious Heroines, as will a link to your website.

To learn more about the orphanage check it out. *An important note, we donate pads every year to different organizations. We do not discriminate which will and won't get pads. Who ever has girls in needs and asks is in. This year the organization is run by a religious group and we just wanted to stress the point that we are not promoting one religion or ideal over another. We are uplifting women and girls and that is that.

*If you have an organization that is in need of pads contact us at: VulvaLoveLovely@Gmail.com *

Click HERE to Donate $5

Toxic Bubbles in Johnson and Johnson Baby Products

2011-11-28T07:53:00.000-08:00

The two chemicals, dioxane and quaternium 15, are cancer-causing preservatives that release formaldehyde.

What does this have to do with babies?

Both of these chemicals can be found in many of Johnson and Johnson's baby products, even in their staple Johnson and Johnson Tearless Baby Shampoo.

These products remain up for sale in the US despite the fact that the company makes versions without these chemicals. Wait....What? The U.K. and other countries refused to sell any products with these chemicals in them. So, Johnson and Johnson created versions sans the toxic preservatives. But, they are only for sale in a few countries that took a stand and said they would not sell any of their products.

Here in the U.S. the company is still being pushed by the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics to remove these toxins from their products in the next 2.5 years!

So far their efforts have been largely unsuccessful. The Coallition is urging consumers to boycott Johnson and Johnson products until the company removes the cancer-causing toxins from their products.

The moral of the story: Avoid Johnson and Johnson products when you can and ALWAYS check the label for: dioxane and quaternium 15.

Mrs Myrna Monday: Days in a Normal Menstrual Cycle and Causes of an Irregular Menstrual Cycle

2011-10-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Myrna Mondays:

Where we answer all of the questions you have about your Lady Parts

Dear Mrs. Myrna, what's the low range when it comes to length of a menstrual cycle: and what can cause an irregular cycle?
Sincerely,
Not So Sweet 17

Dear Not So Sweet 17,
An average cycle is 28 days long, but it is normal to have a cycle that is as short as 21 days or as long as 35.

Here are some causes for irregular menstrual cycles:

Pregnancy. This is the most common cause of a missed period, so if you might be pregnant treat yourself as if you are until you are able to confirm or deny. Pick up a home pregnancy test, if the test is negative and you are more than two weeks late on your period call up your CNM or ObGYN to set up an appointment.
Stress!
Fatigue
Caffeine
Cigarette smoking
Excessive weight loss or gain. While many of us know that a low body weight can cause us to miss a period, having a high body weight can have the same effect.
Increased exercise.
Illness
Travel
New Medications. If you have started a new medication and are experiencing an irregular period give a call to your CNM or ObGYN's office. Talk to the nurse and she can tell you if its a normal side effect or if you should come in for a visit.
Other causes include: breastfeeding, polycystic ovarian syndrome/estrogen dominance, poor nutrition, chemotherapy, hormonal imbalance, recent childbirth, miscarriage or uterine abnormalities (fibroids/cysts/polyps/endometriosis).

All this being said, if you've had an irregular period don't panic: its actually pretty common. One in five women will experience this. If it happens more than once or you go two weeks after the date your period put in a call to the nurse at your woman's health provider.

Sexist Retro Ads: (Anti) Feminist Fridays

2011-10-14T08:30:00.001-07:00

(Anti) Feminist Fridays
Proof that while women are still far from being treated with respect: we have come a long way, Baby!

This Friday's Ad is- I don't even really know how to describe it.
Horrific maybe? And while I still think the premise is widely believed in the subconscious of our culture, at least we are at the point where it's not spelled out in a shoe advertisement.

2011-10-14T08:30:00.000-07:00

Mrs Myrna Monday: Why Does it Hurt To Have Sex After My Period In Certain Positions? Let's talk menstruation and retroverted Uterus

2011-10-03T11:27:00.001-07:00

Mrs. Myrna Mondays:

Where we answer all of the questions you have about your Lady Parts

Dear Mrs. Myrna, why does it hurt to have sex after my period and only in certain positions?
Sincerely, Flinching Slightly

Dear Flinching Slightly,
Let's see if I can help you out here:

* The first thing to know is that after your period your uterus is still tender: Why?
Because you just shed the old lining and now have new tissue exposed. It works a bit like a wound (follow me on this, and no your period is not an injury, its an awesome time of renewal). When you really do a great job of scraping yourself up you get a scab that not only stops bleeding but protects the growth of new skin. If you were to remove it (I know, its gross, stay with me) and put pressure on the new skin before the scab came off of its own accord its probably going to hurt. Same concept. The new tissue is just that: new.

*Secondly, because this only happens in certain positions:
You may have a retroverted uterus.

What does that even mean?
It means that your uterus is tilted backwards. Because of its positioning your partner can 'knock' into your uterus slightly in certain positions, which can be pretty uncomfortable.

How do you know if you have a retroverted uterus?
Visit your CNM (Certified Nurse Midwife) or your ObGyn and ask them to take a look and see if it is retroverted. If they have never mentioned it don't assume its not there, in my case it took them years to mention it to me.

So, what are the implications of a retroverted uterus?
First off, let me say that this is completely normal and often genetic. It wont affect your ability to get pregnant or give birth. In fact, a retroverted uterus will normally right itself in the 10th - 12th week of pregnancy. No, you don't need surgery or any kind of medical intervention to fix this. Again, its not a problem.

There are some symptoms that can point it out to you, though:
Lower back pain, painful intercourse in certain positions and painful periods are some that you can see associated with it.

Again, it is not a medical problem. Its just a thing, like not being born with wisdom teeth. Personally, I think it gives your Uterus a little panache.

Belly Dancing and Belly Love: A Body Positive Blog Post On How Belly Dancing Gets You To Love Your Body

2011-10-03T10:34:00.000-07:00

Recently a friend of mine suggested I give Belly Dancing a try. Then, our VLL employee told me she did it and loved it.
Well, of course I said yes. I'll try most anything once.

And let me tell you, I am never giving this up.
I will be the first to admit that while I own a body positive website, blog, and FB community I am also human, and female to boot. The reason I do what I do is because I recognize what societies expectations of women do to our self esteem. I am not excluded from this and while my self esteem and body image have come a long way in creating VLL I still struggle with my feelings about my belly.

So, here I am at my first class with my belly out there for the world to see. I start to follow my teacher and very quickly notice something astounding: I am damn sexy.
Talk about a revelation!
I am watching my belly in the mirror and when you are dancing, feminine and sensual, you find out why your belly is round and not flat. Round bellies are purely feminine. At that moment, staring in to the mirror I actually found myself thanking God, The Universe, my Mother for this round belly of mine.

The roundness, softness and control that I found in my belly while I danced suddenly became a source of confidence and honestly: sheer bliss. I was in heaven and I was belly dancing. I was woman just as woman is meant to be.
I have been 3 times now, set up a belly dancing mirror in my bedroom so that I can practice every day and in just three short weeks I have gone from always hiding my belly to showing it off as often as I can. Right now? Totally wearing a sports bra and shorts. I am a t shirt and jeans girl even in the hot Florida summer. But right now I am not even questioning this soft, round belly that is scrunched up because I am sitting. I look beautiful. I am on the balcony feeling the fall air and I am happy as a clam.

So, really what I want to get across with this experience is this:
If you are a woman and you are shy because you feel like your belly is too round, too jiggly- get your beautiful belly to a belly dancing class! You will quickl;y find yourself falling in love with the soft, round jiggly perfection of your body.
If you are in South Florida here is the info for the class that I attend: http://www.majanile.com/
The teacher is phenomenal!

If you are outside of South Florida and would like to share your class location with us and recommend your teacher that would be fantastic!

Sept 30th is Hug a Vegetarian Day! By the by, That's Today

2011-09-30T13:02:00.000-07:00

So-
If you are a Vegetarian e-mail us at:
VulvaLoveLovely@Gmail.com

And in return you will receive a most Vulvalicious hug from Ninja Pig

Mrs Myrna Monday: What can I do About my Acne? How to treat and prevent acne.

2011-09-28T11:13:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Myrna Mondays:

Where we answer all of the questions you have about your Lady Parts

Dear Mrs. Myrna, I know this isn't about my lady parts but I need help! What can I do about my acne? It's driving me insane! Sincerely, The Girl That Never Wears Tank Tops

Dear Shoulder Shy Girl,
All of your parts are lady parts and this can not stand! Here are some things that I would recommend:

* If body acne is a problem for you: Try soaking in a warmth bath mixed with Epsom salt. You can buy Epsom salt at any pharmacy or in the pharmacy section at your super market, it comes in a milk carton like box. Its cheap, which is a plus. Mix 2 cups of salt into warm bathwater and soak for about 25 minutes. Do this twice a week until your acne is pretty cleared up, (this should happen within a month) and then do it once a week after that.

* I know you've tried everything to get rid of the acne on your face: and interestingly enough that may be part of the problem. Even if you have oily skin during the day, all of those washes, toners, and gels you put on your face could actually be irritating your skin and making it worse. So, first thing in the morning when you go out I want you to do the unspeakable: put lotion on your face. Get one with some spf and you can protect your skin from the sun and help with your acne at the same time. I know your thinking, "that will make my face break out within the hour!" but give it a try. You might be surprised at how much it helps.

* One last thing... Acne very often gets worse when you are stressed. And, if you're a woman in our society: your stressed. So, do some things to help you calm down. Meditate for a few minutes every day, pick up a belly dancing class, walk your dog. You will likely find that this helps with your acne and even more importantly helps your heart. Next to red meat there is nothing more dangerous to your heart than stress: it can lead to heart attacks, palpitations, heart disease, high blood pressure.. basically this is really important for your lady parts.

Have a question for Mrs. Myrna?
E-mail it to us at: VulvaLoveLovely@Gmail.com

Who is Mrs. Myrna, anyways?
Mrs. Myrna is a group of women's healthcare providers in South Florida. The group consists of Certified Nurse Midwives, an Obgyn, Doula's, and Mental Health Counselors.

You Have Questions, We Have Videos

2011-09-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

Every time I do a show or meet someone that knows about my work I get the same two questions: Why and How did you get into this?

And, if I met someone who made her living off of Vulva art I have to admit: I would have the same two questions. So, I imagine many of you are wondering the same thing.

Here are your answers in video form, because videos are so much more interesting than lines of text.

The Why of Vulva Love Lovely:

And the How:

Mrs Myrna Monday: How do I know if I have a Yeast Infection?

2011-09-12T09:23:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Myrna Mondays:

Where we answer all of the questions you have about your Lady Parts

Dear Mrs Myrna,
How do I know if I have a yeast infection? 
Signed,
Unsure
Dear Unsure,
Let me see if I can de-code this mystery for you.

Here are some of the most common symptoms you see with a Yeast infection. You may have all or just a few:
Extreme itchiness in and around the Vagina
A thick, white clumpy discharge that does not have a bad smell
Burning, redness and swelling of the Vulva
Pain when urinating
Pain during intercourse

To sup it all up:
If the discharge is not white, then what you have is not a yeast infection and should see a doctor. If your discharge is white, clumpy, smells like baking bread and causes some serious itching and burning you most certainly have a yeast infection.

So now what do you do?
Let me just put it out there now to save you a lot of grief: The over the counter stuff will take the itch you already have and triple it. Good luck going to bed with all of that going on.
My recommendation would be to buy this soap:
 Kick it to Your Yeast Infection!

It was formulated with the help of a naturopathic doctor that is one of the consults for the Mrs Myrna column. It treats the yeast infection very effectively but isn't something that makes a mess in your panties, makes the itch worse and you can use it any time you like: not just before bed. If you suffer from chronic yeast infections you can use it as a preventative method. We have gotten some rave reviews for this stuff, so all of us here at Mrs Myrna promise this stuff will do the trick and keep you comfortable all at the same time.

How to Help a Friend that is Considering Suicide

2011-09-06T11:20:00.000-07:00

With the frightening reality that we are seeing an increase of suicide in our LGBT teens, knowing what to do to help can truly help save a life.

I found this excellent video: its short, sweet, and to the point.
It tells you in an easily digestible way how to help a friend that is considering suicide. Its a video, so you don't even have to read a pamphlet. That is why I'm asking you not only to watch it, but re-post it. Imagine what we could do for people if we all had these simple steps ready in our minds?

Mrs. Myrna Mondays: Suffer From UTI's? She knows just how to prevent them.

2011-09-05T20:25:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Myrna Mondays:

Where we answer all of the questions you have about your Lady Parts

Dear Mrs. Myrna, 

I feel like I always have a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection). What can I do to prevent them so that I don't have to feel like this all of the time?

Sincerely, 

Sick and Tired

Dear Sick and Tired,

I know that there are a lot of women out there nodding their heads at this so I will do my best to end this saga for you.

1.) Go to your local drug store and pick up some over the counter cranberry pills. Take one a day at every meal. This will cause your urine to become too acidic for your infection to survive and serves as a very effective preventative measure. Don't do juice, the sugars in your juice can actually feed your infection.

2.) Never, I mean never take a bath. If you really need to then make sure you urinate as soon as you get out of the tub. Sitting in a tub can cause bacteria to enter the urethra and cause a UTI.

3.) Urinate after you have sex. Again, intercourse can cause bacteria to find their way into your urethra and cause a UTI.

4.) DON'T hold it in! When you've gotta go, take the time to make it happen. Holding it when you need to go can help any bacteria that may be present develop into a full-fledged urinary tract infection.

5.) Wear cotton panties. Cotton fabric breathes easy, keeping you nice and dry. Other synthetic fabrics do not breath and can trap in moisture, creating a potential breeding ground for bacteria.

6.) Last but not least: wipe from front to back. So, in plain terms starting with your vulva and ending with your anus, never visa versa. This keeps any bacteria from your anus from getting into your vaginal area.

If you have any question at all e-mail us at: VulvaLoveLovely@Gmail.com.

Mrs. Myrna's questions are answered by a host of women's health professionals in South Florida, including certified nurse midwives and naturopathic doctors.

Clip From the Movie: Moon Inside You

2011-08-29T09:39:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to share this awesome clip from a movie called: Moon Inside you.

Things your Doc Forgot to Mention about your Birth Control Pill

2011-08-29T08:25:00.000-07:00

Now, I'm not sayin all docs forget to mention these things, but some do and they are pretty important birth control FAQs so bear with me and take not of anything you weren't already aware of.

All of this info was given to me by a group of women ObGyns and CNMs that have a practice together in my area and they are brilliant.

*First: Use a second method of birth control during your first month on the pill. Despite the fact that some manufacturers state that you are protected after seven days this does not mean you are protected fully and may still become pregnant. Keep a second method handy all the time and learn to use it well.

*Second: If you miss two pills in a row take both as soon as you remember and then 2 more the next day. You may experience spotting. Use another means of contraception until you finish that package of pills.

*Third: If you miss 3 or more pills in a row chances are high that your ovaries will produce an egg (you will ovulate) and that you may get pregnant. Start using a second method of contraception immediately. Start a new pack of pills the Sunday after you realized you missed 3 or more pills, even if you are menstruating. Use your second method of birth control both while you are off the pills and the first two weeks that you are on your new pack.

*Fourth: If you miss no pills and skip a period, you probably shouldn't worry too much. You may be pregnant. but it is very unlikely. You are fairly safe and can start a new package of pills at the regularly scheduled time.

*Fifth: If you have spotting for 2 or more cycles call your CNM or ObGyn. You may need a slightly stronger pill.

The Two Commandments of the Pill

Commandment 1: If you are on antibiotics use a back up contraception method for the remainder of the cycle.

Commandment 2: If you have become ill and have several days of diarrhea use a back up contraception method for the remainder of the cycle.

Hear Her Roar: Leonna

2011-06-21T19:01:00.001-07:00

Even though we’ve coexisted for decades now, I don’t know my vulva the way I wish I did. We have seemingly walked through life side-by-side but rarely hand-in-hand. My vulva and I have always been on the same journey but I was never courageous enough until now to lift my eyes from the ground and truly see her, strong and beautiful. My passion in life is Women’s Health and I have come to realize that I cannot truly serve other women, including my own daughter, until I open myself up to the true wonder that is my vulva. The raw power that flows from me when I am connected to my vulva is breathtaking. When I feel in sync with my vulva, I am totally inebriated by the intensity and the intimacy that is created from our union. I was always taught to fear my own strength and cage it up like a wild animal. Now, it feels like there is a rhinoceros running towards me and I am asking myself to not only stand my ground but to embrace the rhinoceros and take it into myself. I have to become and birth the rhino at the same time.

As one part of journey towards vulva love and acceptance, I want to honor her for everything she has been and done for me. She has literally been at the center of the most emotional experiences in my life and I have very rarely, if ever, allowed myself to be present with her during these times. My vulva was the final destination of my daughter’s passage into this world - the portal that brought her earthside. Silent and strong, my vulva’s lips stretched to envelop my daughter in the first kiss a mother can give a child and she did so without hesitation or complaint. My vulva was the ferrywoman, my own version of Charon, who delivered to this side my miscarried babies amidst rivers of blood and clots. She did so unapologetically but with empathy for my heart. On a lighter note, my vulva is a fan of Gerber Daisies and, in my mind, she wears one in her hair every day. She is a wise shaman, insightful and loving, and fully capable of standing in her power and enforcing her boundaries. Recently, I discovered that my vulva’s name is Leonna, which means “my strength” in Hebrew. The name emerged from the depths of myself one evening while journaling about my vulva and I’m taking it as a sign that I am on the right path to cultivating a loving, sacred relationship with her. I figure that before you fall madly in love with someone, it is usually a good idea to know her name. I am ready and excited and willing. Let the courtship begin!

Hear Her Roar: Ann

2011-06-20T18:59:00.000-07:00

My whole life, I always compared myself to the "popular" girls. They were always thin, beautiful (on the outside), great bodies, clear skin, perfect hair, stylish clothes, and tons of friends. I was overweight, had a body that was put together all wrong, acne for days, hair that would never cooperate, regular, non stylish clothes, and only a few friends. It wasn't fair. Obviously there was something wrong with me. Loving myself was not at the top of my list. When I reached my mid twenties, something started to change. I knew I was always going to be different, but now I was starting to be okay with it. I started figuring out who I was and where exactly I fit in. It took a while, but I don't fit in, I am always going to be different and I think that's awesome! I still have hair that rarely cooperates, I am still put together wrong, have zero fashion sense, the occasional pimple, and a small handful of friends, but I am beautiful inside and out, compassionate, passionate, unique, smart, I have drive, determination, and I know what I want out of life, but most of all, I love myself.

Hear Her Roar: Dee

2011-06-20T16:59:00.000-07:00

As with so many others the early life of my vulva was not a happy one. As a teen I suffered from confidence issues. I longed to be accepted and loved. I thought that the sure way to gain that acceptance and love was through sex. This resulted in what I now realize was bad attention rather than the positive experience that I was hoping for. I know looking back that I was simply used. I had self worth issues that were tacked onto this. My mother had twisted sex and masturbation into a dirty and embarrassing thing.

Part of my journey to empowerment was becoming an exotic dancer. (sure this seems to continue down the road of poor judgment) I started to gain confidence and acceptance of my body this way. At one point a group of the kids that always looked down on me in school came into the club I worked at. One actually asked me to marry him. This was a moment of realizing "hey I am good enough!"

Here we are years later, I can see a lot of poor judgment on my part. I can also see how these things made me who I am. I'm able to be a sexually open woman who is accepting of others sexuality. I am in my first and only positive long term relationship (10 years in August) I have learned to love my body and not be so concerned about what others feel about it. I have learned that if I am not good enough as I am for someone then they do not deserve to be a part of my life, It's their loss not mine.

I am empowered by my sexuality now. I have made an active effort in my local community to offer support, safety information and lend positive advice to women to help them gain confidence in themselves and their sexuality.

Years ago I would not of felt comfortable with taking part in a project like this. It has taken a long time to feel totally comfortable with my sexuality and my body as a whole. I understand that my degree of openness about my body and sexuality is not for everyone and some will consider doing something like this to be in poor taste. I have learned to not mind what others think though. I think that this project is a wonderful thing. I truly appreciate what Vulva Love Lovely stands for and what each woman stands to gain by starting down their road to self acceptance and sexual empowerment. I am proud to offer you my support and story.

Hear Her Roar: Jeffrie

2011-04-29T16:52:00.000-07:00

“My Story” or How I Learned to Love My Body

I was brought up in a middle class family in Southern California where we didn’t discuss anything body-related. In fact, when I first got my period I was so embarrassed I hid it from my parents for over 6 months.

I didn’t date until I graduated high school, again because I was too embarrassed to broach the subject of sex with my parents, and they didn’t seem to want to push the topic either.

I was a reasonably active girl; I danced and was in gymnastics until I was in my mid 20’s, and people always told me I was pretty, but I couldn’t get a date to save my life. I even went stag to the senior prom… by the time I started college I had completely given up hope of ever getting a boyfriend, since every guy I had asked out had turned me down. I had resigned myself to being the “really cool aunt” or “the crazy cat lady”. I had a reasonable body and reasonable good looks, but I was completely unsure of myself. I hid my breasts as much as I could, wore baggy clothing, wore my hair simply in a braid or ponytail and did what I could to be androgynous. I was even too self conscious to masturbate or do anything of that sort, despite knowing lots of details from more experienced, older friends.

When I was 19, I had a life-changing experience- I got my first boyfriend. He was attracted to me through my ugly clothes and lack of makeup. He saw my body as curvy and beautiful, and after several months he began to teach me to appreciate myself in many, many different ways. He even went with me to Planned Parenthood for years when I went to get my birth control, until I was able to get health insurance.

A couple years later, we started working at the local Renaissance Faire- what better place to learn to take a complement and love your body! Within a year I had joined an acting group where I portrayed an Elizabethan harlot… quite a jump from the naive virgin I was 2 years earlier!

I ended up becoming the director of the group, did a TON of research on women and the dichotomy between the acceptance of prostitution during the Renaissance and the oppression of married women. Meanwhile, I learned even more to appreciate not only my beautiful body, but the variety of wonderful, encouraging, vivacious women I had befriended.

After dating my boyfriend for 7 years he asked me to be his wife. We were married October of ’07, and I have completely and totally learned to love every curve, crevasse and crease of my body. I am not skinny. My breasts are not huge. My stomach is not flat and tight. I love walking around the house naked: I am Rubenesque and damned proud of it!

I still direct and work the Renaissance Faire, and am constantly doing research on women’s history throughout the ages. I have surrounded myself with incredible women and men who believe in beauty in every form. In fact, our war cry (for lack of a better phrase) is “Flapdoodle”, which is a slang term from the late 1400’s/early 1500’s for a women’s vagina- it’s a great word for confusing people, and it’s fun to say!

If I ever have children, I know how to learn from the mistakes that my family made. It’s been centuries that women have been taught to be embarrassed of their bodies, so long that it’s almost an inherited trait. I am so glad to be living in an era where we are just starting to be able to reclaim the power and love that we were afforded in the Ancient Greek and Egyptian times, where women can be different shapes and colors and still be beautiful, sexy and intelligent.

Viva la Vulva! FLAPDOODLE!!!

Hear Her Roar: Adrastea

2011-04-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

When I was growing up, my vulva was never referred to as a vulva. It was a “private part” that no one should touch. It was something that I peed out of and eventually would be the escape hatch for a fetus, but it wasn’t something to be shared or enjoyed. So when I had my first serious boyfriend at 16, I came into the relationship with no awareness of how my vulva was supposed to be treated. I had never had an orgasm. Never masturbated. And so when we began engaging in oral sex, I was afraid at first of his ejaculate and didn’t want to let him finish. So he decreed that if he couldn’t cum, then I couldn’t cum. So as the relationship progressed, I became his personal blowjob machine and he trained me to shut down my brain at the first sign of sexual pleasure.

When I got to college, I met a boy in one of my classes who took a liking to me. He and I started dating and when he realized how twisted my view of sexuality was, he made it his personal mission to help me understand my body better. He told me “I won’t let you get me off until I get you off, and I don’t care how long it takes.” Looking back on my relationship with him, it was the healthiest one I’ve ever had. He truly saved me from years and years of men taking advantage of me and my body. I lost my virginity to him and it was with him that I had my first orgasm. Even though it didn’t work out for other reasons, he was the most wonderful, loving, and open partner that I could have ever asked for.

After him, my vulva and I have been at odds with each other. She believes that yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, and bladder infections are the cat’s meow. We’ve had HPV, VIN, and abnormal PAP smears for four years. I have been crippled with shame and guilt over the idea that I would pass the potential for cervical cancer on to another woman. But in the past few months I am getting over that. I am dating my best friend from childhood and he is reminding me that I deserve of love, that my body is beautiful and that my vulva is not my enemy. I recently got involved with the Vagina Monologues and have started advocating for women’s health on campus.

-Adrastea

Hear Her Roar: Bri

2011-03-18T18:16:00.000-07:00

When I was 14 years old I was sexually abused by a 25 year old man I didn't know; he did things to me that made me think that I was dirty or damaged and I was afraid of and hated my own body for a very long time. I viewed myself as disgusting and unclean, I felt that whatever innocence I had was ruined, and I couldn't look at myself anymore. I first happened upon the idea of forgiveness when I started finding that the internet had stories of many girls and women that had the same thing happen, and worse things happen to them. I decided to submit a photo of myself for use as a model buy the lovely Jessica to partly take back some power and control, and to prove to myself that I was beautiful and what happened to me was not my fault, and that it didn't ruin me. I am 19 now, and I have started to heal from the things that have hurt me, and from the fear I have, and the beautiful decoration that was modeled after me has done so much to help me down that path.

Hear Her Roar: Jamie

2011-03-09T18:53:00.001-08:00

VULVA LOVE

Demons.

Can you see them?

Haunting my most precious part of my being.

Stealing my essence.

Hiding in my creative Soul’s center, choking the snake curled at the base of my spine.

The demons are heavy in my energy center from which I am supposed to vibrate at my highest level of well-being.

Stagnating.

Instead of being able to honor that vibration and move through the veil to see all truths, I see only darkness.

There is no light.

And in that darkness I am cut off, not only from honoring the beauty of myself, but the flow of trust towards my husband.

Pain overshadows. Fear dominates. Shame reigns.

I have surrendered.

But I am awakening.

Because I am loved.

I have nothing to lose.

Everything to gain.

I desire to move back and forth through the veil.

To experience my power in its highest form.

To trust.

To be one with all that is.

One with the person that loves me infinitely.

I see the light.

Hear Her Roar: Emmerson

2011-03-07T17:05:00.000-08:00

Growing up as a young girl, no one ever told me that my vulva was supposed to be beautiful. My mother had a terrible word for it- bunny ( I still cringe when I share that with people today) and instead of telling me I should be proud or happy, she would chase me around the house asking if I had “washed my bunny” . She was a believer in far too many old wives tales about growing up and menstruation, so shaving, periods, tampons, smells, and the like, were all things I had to learn on my own.

I remember at 14 I talked with my best friend about oral sex. We discussed how gross it seemed to give blow jobs, but oral sex for us, was totally out of the question. Somehow we had both swallowed the lie that we were gross, and having a man down there would be subjecting ourselves to humiliation and taunting instead of pleasure.

Adolescence brought me more insecurity, as I compared my body to the images I saw in magazines, porn on the internet, and art. I knew I wasn’t doing something right, whether it was not maintaining my bikini line, not shaving everything off, or having darker skin colors because of my mixed race. My first, and last sexual interaction with a man was virginal and innocent, there was no investigation of each other, just plain vanilla intercourse.

It was a few years later, after I had read the vagina monologues, after I had gone to a leadership camp and became a banner waving feminist, after I had taken my first gender studies class at college, that everything changed. I fell in love with a woman. The first time I had sex with her it was as if my mind had moved to an entirely different place. I realized that I loved her body, and I knew exactly how to take care of it. The next day, I sat outside, realizing that if I could love her body, I would really be loving myself, validating myself. All my relationships since then have not only confirmed this revelation, but have also been opportunities for me to ‘spread the good word.’

That changed everything.

Since that relationship my confidence, my outright superiority complex, has ballooned. I worship all things vulva, whether they be constructed, or altered. I envy the trans men, who during their transitions sometimes grow clitorises large enough to penetrate. I gaze at my menstrual blood, thinking of the power it symbolizes. I never question the beauty of my body, having learned that my vulva is completely unique to me. My scent, my ‘textbook uterus’ (thanks obgyn!), my fascinating, wonderful, awesome clitoris, my Marilyn Monroe beauty spot ;). These are all things I have learned to not only treasure, but also hold as a badge of strength, sexiness, and power.

Hear her Roar: Elizabeth

2011-03-03T17:35:00.001-08:00

When I was eight, I was sexually abused by my babysitter. For years, I felt disconnected from my body and uneasy with any sort of idea of sexuality. It took me over nine years to become fully secure with myself and I still struggle with it sometimes. I think it is essential to feel confident about yourself. I spent a decade cutting my arms and legs because I couldn't accept what had happened and love myself regardless of it. Now, I can say that I am happy with who I am, and I appreciate all that I have been through.

A Love Tirade on the Word Cunt

2011-02-24T20:13:00.000-08:00

Did you know that I think your awesome, amazing even? Your revolutionaries, lovers, movers and shakers.

So lets talk Cunt.
For some reason out of the blue the word has come up a billion times this week, so I felt moved to go on a love tirade.

Cunt can be a powerful word. But why?
Can you think of a worse word in the English language? One that conveys more hate, more disgust, or contempt? Urban dictionary can't, and if they can't I don't know its possible.

But, before you jump to use the word to convey your complete, justifiable anger and contempt of the person that screwed you out of money or a job take a moment:
What word do you think is used the most to refer to rape victims by their assailants?
What about women abused by their male partners?
Even more specifically, what about women emotionally abused by their partners?
What about prostitutes? What about child prostitutes?

Bitch is pretty high up there but one word reigns supreme: Cunt.
Why?
Because nothing quite gets that contempt across the way Cunt does.

Cunt has another component that makes it of particular interest to us:
It refers to women. When used on men it is to relate them to women. A Cunt is a Vagina is a Woman. There is no soley male word with the same intense meaning as Cunt. The only thing that comes close is dick. But dick can be bad (you're a total dick) or good, (he has a huge dick). Now, replace dick with Cunt. You're a total Cunt. A bit heavier, no?
What about: she has a huge Cunt. If said this would probably be meant to be insanely offensive.

Cunt takes all of the negative stereotypes about women and rolls them all into one word. When dissected you think things like: whore, bitch... again, all female.

Instead of propagating its use and the ideas behind it by using it to insult eachother and others let's own it. Let's use it to uplift eachother and ourselves. Let's kill the harsh bitterness attached to it.

As a woman who has heard this word in some of the worst of times I would like to ask you, humbly, with so much love, please don't use this word to attack. We are all so much better than what that word labels us as. We are awesome, amazing, revolutionaries, mothers, sisters and lovers.

Hear her Roar: Abi Rose

2011-02-18T15:30:00.000-08:00

Up until the eighth grade, I never knew how to like my body, or that it was even possible to look into the mirror and not see a lanky, too skinny body, or a weirdly shaped nose. In eighth grade, I started listening to punk rock music, which taught me not to worry about what others thought, and that I didn't have to fit in. But even my favourite bands couldn't teach me to love all of myself, even what I saw in the mirror.
But then I found feminism. And in the first feminist anthology I wrote, I read about all kinds of different women who loved their bodies for what they were; fat, skinny, in-between, big boobs, no boobs, post-op, black, white, whatever. Then I started reading articles on my then-favourite feminist blog, and there I found this site, VulvaLoveLovely.
At first I felt weird about seeing all these vulva necklaces. And then, suddenly, I loved it. I loved that these women loved their bodies enough to send a stranger pictures of them and then wear them proudly. I loved that they were taking control of their bodies, putting them on display in a way that was beautiful and not sexual. And I loved that it was very in-your-face, and made people re-think their assumptions, which appealed to my punk side.
A few months after I found VLL, I decided it was time to take a truly punk leap and pierce my clitoral hood. My ears were all pierced up, and my nose, and I had four tattoos at the time, and I wanted my yoni to feel the rock, too. The day when I took my pants off in front of my piercer and got a barbell downstairs, too, was the day I truly fell in love with my body.
Ever since, I've been so much happier. I don't feel shy taking my clothes off in front of new partners, or wearing bikinis on the beach or the pool. I modeled for my friend's figure drawing class. I ripped up the page I'd taken out of Cosmo about how to lose my belly and decided I liked that, too. I never complain about my body anymore, and when my friends tell me I'm too skinny I just shrug instead of feeling uncomfortable. I'm very happy being me, the size I was meant to be. I'm very comfortable in the skin I'm in, and the only change I'd ever want to make is to add more tattoos.

Taking Photos? There is a magic to it:

2011-02-10T10:04:00.000-08:00

This information has long been available to our models and then it hit me:
I'll bet our portrait pendant customers would find this mad helpful. The pictures really are the trick to getting a perfect portrait piece.

So, here it is: The Model Photo Taking Magic.

Model Photo Taking Tips:

*The best light is natural light. Be sure your flash is off and take the photo where you get a lot of sunshine coming through a window. Flash distorts the color of the photo.

*If your camera has a macro setting use that while taking the photos. It’s the little icon that looks like a tulip (fitting, right?) . If not use the auto setting.

*When you go to push down the button and take the picture hold your breath. This will minimize how much your body shakes the camera and make for a clearer picture.

*If your having a hard time getting a photo with your vulva actually in it (taking a photo of something you can’t see can be tough) try setting up a mirror system so you can see the screen on the back of the camera in the mirror. If you don’t have a mirror you can take a picture and then look at it, use that to gauge how much and which direction you need to move the camera in.

*Think about if you want your pieces to represent your more natural look or if you want to have your inner labia splayed out. Use a hand mirror prior to snapping the photos to arrange your Vulva as you love her best.

*Don’t feel required to shave before taking your photos. We here at VLL love bush. How can you play bumper cars without bumpers? If you do rock your bush before taking the photos spread your labia apart, sort of pushing the hair “out of the way” so that the details of your inner labia are visible.

*Take as many pictures as you have the patience to, the more you take the better the chances are that there is one fantastic, clear picture in the lot. Send 2-3 photos with the name you would like to use. As far as the story goes there are no ‘rules’, speak your truth in whatever manner comes naturally.

*Most of all, enjoy this! I know it sounds awkward, but things are what you make of them. Take this opportunity to explore a part of yourself you can’t see with your own eyes. Celebrate it. When your taking the photos and looking at them later, don’t glance at them and decide they are horrible. I promise they are not. Look at them, look at the colors and the curves. Find something you love in them and own it.

Thank you so much for deciding to take part in our model program! I hope that it is an empowering experience for you and all of the women visitors that come across the piece. No matter what you look like you are beautiful, no matter what scars you have you are perfect. A shimmering white and silver portrait piece will be mailed to you in 5-6 weeks as a thank you and once your photos are received you will be e-mailed a life-long 10%off coupon code.

With so much Vulva Love,

Jessica Marie

Spread the Love

2011-01-16T08:44:00.000-08:00

Hello all of you Beautiful ladies!
I would like you to meet Chelle. She just turned 25 and for her birthday she had a talk with Lissa Rankin of Whats Up Down There. You can read the whole story here (you really want to, its fantastic! )but I will do my best to break it down for you.

Chelle was born with a Terrier Cleft. Its a type of facial cleft that goes all the way through her lip to her palate, through her nose and between what would have been her eyes, which she was born without. In those 25 years she has undergone 66 surgeries.She's one tough lady.

When she talked with Lissa she told her something amazing: her dream. Her very attainable dream. She wants to go to Africa to hold babies and help disabled children so that they know they are loved, that they are precious and that their lives matter. She wants to live in her own home surrounded by animals. It really boils down to: She wants to spread the love.

So, here's the deal. I've whipped up a custom Chelle uterus plushie and we are auctioning her off right here, right now, to get Chelle that new place, work clothes, money for the bus and anything else she needs.

Click Here to Place your bid!

That's all, Folks. Together, women can move mountains: so lets stop talking about it and do it!

With Vulva Love to all of you,
Jessica Marie

October's Clitorati Challenge: Feel your Boobies

2010-10-06T11:35:00.000-07:00

This month's Clitorati challenge is to Feel Your Boobies,
and to promise to do so every month.
Why?

Because the earlier you detect breast cancer the more likely you are to undergo successful treatment. Early detection is key to survival. If breast cancer is found and diagnosed while still confined to the breast, the 5-year survival rate is more than 90 percent.

But that's only Part 1 of the challenge. Part 2 is to remind as many women as you can of the importance of preforming a monthly self exam. This is just as important as Part 1.

This month's prize:

A super cute Pink ribbon key chain.3" x 1" , 5" in total length

To win the goods preform a self breast exam, then remind 3 other women that its breast cancer awareness month and remind them to preform a self breast exam. You can do this in person or via a facebook or twitter post.

Once you have done both (Dont cheat on the self exam. 1 in 8 women in the US develop breast cancer in their lifetime and early detection is the key to survival) post a comment here saying "for the love of tatas, i felt mine" along with the first names of the women you showed Vulva Love to or the post you used to do so.

Remember, Clitorati, we are here for the love of women. Breast Cancer is killing them so do what you can to show the Love and save a life.

Breast Cancer FAQ

2010-10-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

Its October, breast cancer awareness month.
So, to start the month of here are some tata factoids:

About 1 in 8 women in the United States (between 12 and 13%) will develop invasive breast cancer over the course of her lifetime.
In 2010, an estimated 207,090 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to be diagnosed in women in the U.S., along with 54,010 new cases of non-invasive (in situ) breast cancer.
About 1,970 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed in men in 2010. Less than 1% of all new breast cancer cases occur in men.
From 1999 to 2006, breast cancer incidence rates in the U.S. decreased by about 2% per year. One theory is that this decrease was partially due to the reduced use of hormone replacement therapy (HRT) by women after the results of a large study called the Women’s Health Initiative were published in 2002. These results suggested a connection between HRT and increased breast cancer risk.
About 39,840 women in the U.S. are expected to die in 2010 from breast cancer, though death rates have been decreasing since 1991. These decreases are thought to be the result of treatment advances, earlier detection through screening, and increased awareness.
For women in the U.S., breast cancer death rates are higher than those for any other cancer, besides lung cancer.
Besides skin cancer, breast cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer among U.S. women. More than 1 in 4 cancers in women (about 28%) are breast cancer.
Compared to African American women, white women are slightly more likely to develop breast cancer, but less likely to die of it. One possible reason is that African American women tend to have more aggressive tumors, although why this is the case is not known. Women of other ethnic backgrounds — Asian, Hispanic, and Native American — have a lower risk of developing and dying from breast cancer than white women and African American women.
In 2010, there are more than 2.5 million breast cancer survivors in the U.S.
A woman’s risk of breast cancer approximately doubles if she has a first-degree relative (mother, sister, daughter) who has been diagnosed with breast cancer. About 20-30% of women diagnosed with breast cancer have a family history of breast cancer.
About 5-10% of breast cancers can be linked to gene mutations (abnormal changes) inherited from one’s mother or father. Mutations of the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes are the most common. Women with these mutations have up to an 80% risk of developing breast cancer during their lifetime, and they are more likely to be diagnosed at a younger age (before menopause). An increased ovarian cancer risk is also associated with these genetic mutations. In men, about 1 in 10 breast cancers are believed to be due to BRCA2 mutations and even fewer cases to BRCA1 mutations.
About 70-80% of breast cancers occur in women who have no family history of breast cancer. These occur due to genetic abnormalities that happen as a result of the aging process and life in general, rather than inherited mutations.
The most significant risk factors for breast cancer are gender (being a woman) and age (growing older).

This is a Problem

2010-08-03T07:58:00.000-07:00

So Who Won July's Contest?

2010-08-02T17:42:00.000-07:00

Foureyes, my friend, you have some big eggs.

Two free lip balms are your trophy. E-mail me at VulvaLoveLovely@Gmail.com with the 2 flavors you want and a mailing address. You can browse around in here http://vulvalovelovely.com/product-page/vegan-beauty-products/ to see the flavors we have in stock.

Honorable Uterine Mention goes to Danielle, that took some eggs.

Winners are chosen randomly, my Uterus doesnt play favorites. July's challenge can be found here:

http://vulvalovelovely.blogspot.com/2010/07/julys-contest-to-see-who-here-has.html

Winners are chosen randomly and honorable Uterine mention goes to the post with the most.

Product Review: The OhMiBod Freestyle Vibator

2010-07-09T12:00:00.000-07:00

So, what does a girl need in a vibrator and how does the Freestyle measure up?

First of all let me distinguish the Freestyle by saying that this thing wirelessly links up to your mp3 player , goes with the beat and lets you rave in your panties.

Your like the sexy lady dj at club Vulva.

All of you told me what you need on our facebook fan page so lets get right into it. Note, this is all based on my opinion. Im sure there is someone out there who's Vagina disagrees with mine re: the rating of this vibrator.

Girls looking for power, hypoallergenic material and a well made vibrator.

How the Freestyle measures up:

({*Freestyle is made using entirely body friendly, hypoallergenic materials. Pink ones that are silky smooth to top it all off.

({*No complaints from me on the quality of the vibrator. Ive had it for almost a year now, use it for several hours a week (I like to take my time) and it still works/looks like it did the glorious day it arrived at my door.

({*Power wise, on a scale of 1 - 10 (10 being the highest) I would put the highest setting available at a 10. For real.

A Girl wants to know:

Does it have variable speeds?

It has 3 different speeds and four different pre-programmed vibration patterns (for days when your mp3 player is dead but you still want to mix an imaginary beat).

Is it comfortable in your hand? Yes, but it can be a bit in the way when playing with a friend if that friend is on top and wants to get close.

Is it heavy or light weight? Its pretty light weight.

Does it heat up? No, they have vibrators that do that? Your blowing my mind.

Battery or plug in? Plug in. The charge is supposed to last 5 hours but mine only lasts 3 - which is still pretty decent. 2 hours to fully charge.

Easy to clean? Can it be submerged to clean? The material its made of is super easy to clean. The freestyle vibrator is splash resistant so you can run it under water but its not waterproof so I wouldnt suggest dunking it- though its so easy to clean you really dont have to.

Is it for internal/external/both? Both. Its not too large so you can easily position and hold for external but its large enough for internal use as well.

If its for internal stimulation, does it hit the "right spots"? My right spots are different from yours so all I can say is that it doesnt hit my g spot- its not designed with any kind of a curve to it. The variant vibrations are fun both internally and externally for sure.

What if a girl wants more? Does it have any attachments or sleeves? Just one: the pinkie sleeve. Its not available on the OhMiBod site because they are cooking up a new design but its pretty easy to find:http://www.amazon.com/The-OhMiBod-Pinkie-Sleeve/dp/B001JI3HOS

This guy knows what he would like: He says :"If I had a Vulva I would want a vibrator that was easy to fit in my purse, runs super quietly so that I could take it anywhere and use it during a boring business meeting. Also, I would want my vibrator to talk to my man about how to treat the clitoris". First off, this guy's non-existant Vulva knows what she likes and we love it.

So, how does the Freestyle measure up?

({* The freestyle runs very quietly. You can use it and with the doors closed your guests, family, whomever wont hear it.

({* It would fit in most purses- just not those annoyingly small Louis Vuitton bags.

That being said its not super small as it is designed for internal stimulation as well as external and its not completely soundless so I wouldnt recommend whipping it out at the office. The official Size: 8 1/4 " long and 1 1/8" in diameter.

({*Sadly the Freestyle doesnt give talks on Clitoral love- OhMiBod, do you have a suggestion box cause we like this one.

A Girl wants to know:

Is it waterproof? Its splashproof but it cant swim...yet.

Can it cook? No, but I can.

And last but not least a girl needs her spy gadgets:

Can I disguise it as an every day object? If you use it every day consider it done. Otherwise no, its pretty clearly a vibrator and the sleeve seems like it would just drive the point home hard. If you have a pinata around you could wrap some ribbon around it and say its for whacking at it.

My Personal Take:

If this vibrator cooked I would marry it.

Black No.9 + Me + The Freestyle= the key to enlightenment.

The Freestyle seems to sync up with base so choose songs that have a lot of that going on. Its super easy to clean, I take it every time I travel anywhere so its easy to pack and its pink which brings me so much joy. All that and to top it off its packaged in a mac worthy box and nestled in a velvet lined case. Thats class.

That being said I really like to take my time so while a 3 hour charge is good, 8 would be better. Also, a waterproof Freestyle that heats up would just be more than I could ever dream of.

So, on a 1 to 10 scale: 1 being an epic fail and 10 being the sex toy of the gods I would put the Freestyle at an 8...point 5. With a sleeve that has contours but doesn't look just like a penis a 9+. When it warms up, plays in water and lasts longer than I do in 3 days you have the 10 hands down. The gods in Olympus and rave in their panties all night long. Let me know when that day comes so that I can too.

I actually won the Freestyle in a contest on FeministReview, so thank you so much FeministReview and OhMiBod. I'm a poor artist and Im ok with that- but its really nice to have some of the good things in life and this one is sooooo good.

Ok, so I know you want to DJ at your panty party. You can get the Freestyle Here.

Take Care of Your Vagina!

2010-07-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

Did you know that if you are taking antibiotics the efficacy of your birth control goes way way down and you can (very easily, I might add) get pregnant?

So...

If your on bc and your not ready for a baby dont get frisky while taking antibiotics without a backup form of contraception because it may end poorly.

{ maternity t shirt } that I want