Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Hear Her Roar: Leonna

Even though we’ve coexisted for decades now, I don’t know my vulva the way I wish I did. We have seemingly walked through life side-by-side but rarely hand-in-hand. My vulva and I have always been on the same journey but I was never courageous enough until now to lift my eyes from the ground and truly see her, strong and beautiful. My passion in life is Women’s Health and I have come to realize that I cannot truly serve other women, including my own daughter, until I open myself up to the true wonder that is my vulva. The raw power that flows from me when I am connected to my vulva is breathtaking. When I feel in sync with my vulva, I am totally inebriated by the intensity and the intimacy that is created from our union. I was always taught to fear my own strength and cage it up like a wild animal. Now, it feels like there is a rhinoceros running towards me and I am asking myself to not only stand my ground but to embrace the rhinoceros and take it into myself. I have to become and birth the rhino at the same time.

As one part of journey towards vulva love and acceptance, I want to honor her for everything she has been and done for me. She has literally been at the center of the most emotional experiences in my life and I have very rarely, if ever, allowed myself to be present with her during these times. My vulva was the final destination of my daughter’s passage into this world - the portal that brought her earthside. Silent and strong, my vulva’s lips stretched to envelop my daughter in the first kiss a mother can give a child and she did so without hesitation or complaint. My vulva was the ferrywoman, my own version of Charon, who delivered to this side my miscarried babies amidst rivers of blood and clots. She did so unapologetically but with empathy for my heart. On a lighter note, my vulva is a fan of Gerber Daisies and, in my mind, she wears one in her hair every day. She is a wise shaman, insightful and loving, and fully capable of standing in her power and enforcing her boundaries. Recently, I discovered that my vulva’s name is Leonna, which means “my strength” in Hebrew. The name emerged from the depths of myself one evening while journaling about my vulva and I’m taking it as a sign that I am on the right path to cultivating a loving, sacred relationship with her. I figure that before you fall madly in love with someone, it is usually a good idea to know her name. I am ready and excited and willing. Let the courtship begin!

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