Wednesday, December 5, 2012

November's CSV Package!

 Just a peek at what we sent out for last month's Community Supported Vulvas program! 


  • 1 unseen Goddess {red} with green ribbon cord
  • 1 Turkey inspired Turkey-Vulva napkin ring for all of your Thanksgiving festivities
  • 1 month supply of our new liquid Kick It to Your Yeast Infection Soap
  • Abi's Signature Model Card

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

CSV: Community Supported Vulvas!

Introducing our Vulva of the Month Club! 

What's that, you ask?
Well, let me explain

{Wanna Join?}
e-mail me



How it Works:
This program was created to help sustain VLL as a small business while at the same time provide our customers with beautiful, unique products unavailable on our site.
  • We hand make and hand select all of the products you get in your package
  • We ensure that no duplicates of any product are sent in a shipping season
  • Prices and Payment: you can pay monthly or pay upfront and get a discount
What's in my package?
What is in your monthly package will vary from month to month, but it will go something like this:
  • 2 unseen goddesses (goddess pendant creations that never made it to the site)
  • 1 travel-sized body product
or:
  • 1 unseen goddess
  • 1 completely awesome and riduculous Vulva creation I made in a caffiene induced deliruim
  • 1 signature model card
And to sweeten the deal, every year that you are with the program you will get a handsculpted piece on us.

Pricing and Payment
  • Payments are accepted by PayPal only
  • Your packages are shipped on a monthly basis
  • Each payment period lasts 6 months
  • Each month is only $25, shipping included
    • For orders outside of the US shipping is only an additional $6.50 per month
 Payment Options:
  • You can be billed monthly
  • You can pay for your 6 month session up front for the discounted rate of $20 per package (+shipping if you outside of the US)
Service Fee
  • If this is your first session with our CSV program and you cancel before the session ends you will be charged a $25 service fee.
Reward Program
  • Each year you support us in our CSV program You will get a hand-sculpted piece on us  as a thank you.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Monday, October 8, 2012

Meet our Models: Peter

I never had problems with my body until I started my gender journey. As a child I knew everything that was going to happen with my body and I couldn’t wait! 


I was always very sexually open and curious. I started having sex at the age of 16 but always left disappointed. I hated having stuff in my Vulva. I always thought it was him, so I kept trying having sex with different men but that Hollywood movie moment where we both came together in complete bliss never happened and I didn’t really know who to blame.

At the age of 22 I started to get really tired. I was tired of having my period so I started taking birth control pills without the 7 day break in-between. I was tired of men, so I decided I didn’t want them in my life anymore. That really was the beginning of my transition, but I didn’t know it then. It took me another 2-3 years to really start naming things as they were.

Hormone replacement therapy led to top surgery in which I had my breasts removed. Some really rough things happened to me while I was in transition, so much so that I am not really ready to write them down. Finally, after 2 years of working through my transition I had my bottom operation, giving me male genitalia, my Penis.

Now, a few surgeries later I am done with my transition for a few more years. Now, finally after what feels like forever I am beginning to deal with a lot of past issues. I am so happy to be who I really am: being in the wrong body is a terrible feeling.  So, here I am: happy with my body. Now it is time for me to say good bye to my old one. I am finally in a place where I can admit to myself that I once had a Vulva and a Vagina and that is OK. It has been hard for me because I can’t help but feel as though I’ve been kicked out of all the women’s circles. Its hard not to be hurt and feel left out by that. All of the sudden I feel 2 new things: sad that I can’t participate in ‘women’ things, because politically and emotionally I identify more with women’; and sad that I left before saying goodbye, for leaving my Vulva without ever loving or trying to make amends with it.
                   And then came Vulva Love Lovely :-) and let the healing begin.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Meet Our Models: Shakti

Meet our newest model, Shakti
 Between my family's matter-of-fact attitude towards life, and my little brothers being in almost constant need of a diaper / pamper change, I was aware of the way of things - of the Yoni, and the Lingham, and that the union of the two (between "adults who love each other") gives way to joy and to life - at a relatively young age. And in my mind, that was just the fact and function of the universe. So when I "blossomed" at twelve, I accepted it as the way of life, and did my best to ignore the jeers of clueless boys and jealous girls. And when I started my period at 14, it came as little surprise. So while my mother cried and my grandmother bade me "Welcome to Womanhood", I took the tears and hugs and ridiculously large Maxi pads in stride, because that was just the way things worked..... except for my they didn't.
By the time I was 16 my cycles (when they came) last anywhere from 2months to, at one point, an entire year. And after being clinically deflowered for the purpose of an intra-cervical ultrasound, I was informed that I have an extremely "profound" case of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.  To absorb the fact that you may never have children is alot to handle at 16. And for me, whose passion is children, it was devastating. I took it very cynically, and adopted the idea that I was only marginally a woman because I was "broken". And it ate at me for years; until  I met one of the most enlightened souls I know. He (yes, he) was the assistant pastor of my mother's congregation at the time, and in the course of me requesting prayer for my "brokenness" he told me one of the most touching things I've ever had the blessing to hear. He insisted that I was not broken at all, nowhere near it in fact. And he told me that, he believed, I was created the way I am so that through my circumstance the miracle of motherhood might be made even more profound. That my children (whether birthed or adopted) would be living proof of the miraculousness of femininity; of a woman's ability not only to create, but to foster and to love.
That was almost 6 years ago. Since then I have married my high school sweetheart, and we are well on our way to making those words a reality, with out even thinking about it. I would be lying if I told you I kept their healing power in my mind on a daily basis. I don't. By the Grace of the Divine I've come to a place in my life where I no longer need to. And I'm just a little ashamed to admit that, for quite some time now, I had completely forgotten about everything that I went through to get where I am. And I know that I couldn't have done any of it with out the empowering guidance of those words from a near stranger 6 years ago. And looking at VLL I decided that if I could pass them on to just one other woman, who feels ( or felt) like I used to that maybe, in some small way, my "brokenness" my truly mean something. Because I know what it feels like to despise your body, but I also know what it feels like to be able to look back and smile even though it's not necessarily better. And that is my sincerest wish for every female out there who is, or ever had been hurting because of their femininity. I want you to know that regardless of what you look like, or what you circumstance is that you are a perfect living embodiment of the miracle that is all things feminine.
~Shakti

Monday, September 24, 2012

20% Off for a Nuff Nuff!

Hey there, Ladies! 
My esteemed business partner and most bestest friend had a seizure Friday night. 
We made a mad dash to the emergency vet, they ran some tests and we have pretty much been jumping between vets everyday since (thank goodness for Sunday not being a work day...)

This has left us beyond broke; and we wouldn't take it back for the world.
But, to help us pay for the next looming vet visit, a possible surgery and to just get through this month being able to pay rent we are having a NuffNuff sale! 

Everything is 20% off, just use code: nuffnuff!

If you would like to help but are not able to buy anything we set up a donation link for Nuff Nuff.  










Update: We are still taking him to the vet every week and refilling prescriptions, which is a bit expensive and stressful. BUT, slowly his red blood cell count is going up. When he was first in the emergency vet it was at 2.7, then dropped to 2.5. Now it is at 3.8! 
It needs to be at 4.8, so we have a little way to go, but we are getting there! 

Thank you SO much everyone for all of your help. Really. I can't say it enough.




Monday, September 3, 2012

Menstrual Taboos in Hinduism: Menstrual Monday


Menstrual Taboos in Hinduism 

Every culture has it's own taboos and rituals that revolve around menstruation. 
Its Monday, I'm Menstruating and I just got done whipping up some Indian food. 
So, my mind somehow went to Hinduism and menstruation. 

So, I thought I would take a peek at some of the menstrual taboos you can find in Hinduism.
This is NOT an attack on Hinduism at all. Every culture/religion has its own taboos regarding menstruation, mine included {that should be a fun Menstrual Monday}. This was just something I was interested in learning a little bit about while I ate my yummy samosa... or several of them.  
sign in front of a Hindu Temple







  1.  The law of Manu states that a Brahman, while eating, should not look at a menstruating woman.  
  2. The Vŗddhahārt-smŗti states that a wife had to be burned alive if on her husband’s death, she was menstruating.
  3. The onset of menstruation brings to a woman’s body an openness to shakti, life energy that is viewed as intentional, powerful allure in vulva and breast that can also be harmful if it is not controlled. This power when contained creates an orderly, functional, and joyous world; or when it is out of control it can literally burn the house down.
  4. Hindu women are considered to be impure during menstruation, and might pollute others who come into contact with them. To keep from polluting male relatives, a woman could not touch them for 13 days. Once married, a woman should sleep separately from her husband during menstruation. The same no-touch rule applies. 
  5. To protect others from perceived contamination, Hindu menstruating women have to use separate utensils for eating and drinking. They also need to wash their clothes separately and themselves.
  6. Cooking was prohibited for almost all Hindu women in India and Nepal during menstruation.  Girls during their menstruation are considered 'impure' and hence are not allowed to enter the kitchen. It was also believed that food would go bad if a menstruating woman handled it.
  7. In the Vyāsa, menstruating women only can lie on the ground, eat once at night, and are not able to speak or move.
  8. Menstrual seclusion rites as recorded over the last few centuries typically include three basic taboos: the menstruating women must not see light, she must not touch water, and she must not touch earth.
  9. Attending to a visitor is banned for menstruating women. Some Hindu women are additionally not permitted to wear new clothes or look at themselves in a mirror.
  10. The main taboo for Hindu women during menstruating is that they cannot worship: a girl should not visit a temple or offer prayer to God while she is menstruating. According to these beliefs and customs a girl who has periods is impure and hence, should not touch anything that shall be given as an offering to God. They also cannot take part in the religious ceremonies 
  11. It is so said that a girls during their menstruation should not touch pickles . According to the Hindu myths if they do so the pickle rots away.
  12. Basil plants are considered to be holy in Hinduism, hence girls during their periods are not allowed to touch them. They cannot even let their shadows fall on the plant during this time- if she does, according to the myths, the basil plant dies.  
While these taboos range in the level of restriction put on menstruating women from no cooking or physical touch all the way to no anything but lying down- I have to say- I am in agreement with the idea that women's Uteri have the capacity to both create a joyous world or, you know, burn houses down.

;)

Friday, August 31, 2012

Vulva's Out and About in August!

Here are all of the customer pics we got this month! 
Now: the time has come to vote on the most awesome/creative/made me smile photo.

To cast your vote just leave the pic number in the comments.


The winner will be receiving a Vulva Doodle! One that I drew on something I randomly happened upon somewhere in my house. An awesome something {awesome bc there is a Vulva on it!}

3

1
 
2


6
4
5


                                       
                                             7

Looks like #2 took it this month! 
So, I'm mailing her a Vulva Doodle I made... 
For her fridge


Vulva


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Some love for our Dandelion Breast Lotion: Recovering from a surgery gone wrong and some SERIOUS body love

I got this in my inbox and I had to share it! 
Im still all teary eyed and warm inside

"I just want to share a story with you. A few weeks ago, I ordered a mini care kit from you. 2 years ago I had breast surgery... that went VERY WRONG. After almost 2 years of recovering, I was finally ok enough to go back to normal life. But... my right breast is nothing more than a mass of scar tissue. Nothing I have used on it has helped soften the scar tissue. NOTHING. Till I started using your breast lotion. The scars will never go away and my right breast will forever be deformed... but your lotion has softened the tough, completely unelastic tissue. Enough to make it FEEL more like breast tissue. It's the best I've gotten things since this nightmare ruined my life... and I don't know how to thank you. Really. I will hopefully be able to convince you to sell more when I run out. It's really helped me... reconnect with my breasts. The breasts I have cried over for 2 years now, refused to look at, and hated. Your lotion gave me a reason to reconnect with my own body, and give it some MUCH NEEDED love. Thank you with all my heart."

This was my response: 
oh *******! I love you, you know that? It is ok if I share this? I am so happy and humbled. Every woman deserves to feel connected to her amazing, beautiful body. The scars just prove that you fought harder than most of us to lay claim to that amazing, beautiful body. That makes it even more valuable. ♥

Then I cried some more...


Monday, August 13, 2012

Meet our Models: Rae

Meet Rae





I was told to ask questions if I had them.
        (it was not for other people.)
    to wait.
        (it was special.)

I was never told it was wrong.
        (not to look.)
    it was disgusting.
        (not to touch.)

Still--
that’s what I heard.

I thought it was dirty.
        (made me tainted.)
     something to hide.
        (made me less than whole.)

I was not raised to feel this way.

First: there was my best friend.
Through her, I learned another side.
        (struggled with my identity.)
I learned it wasn't unusual.
        (felt sick and confused and dissociated.)
I learned about myself physically.
        (displaced from what I knew and unable to discuss it.)
I learned how to orgasm.
    I found I wasn't less than at all.

Now there is him.
    (a new friend, but still close.)
I know where I stand with my sexuality.
I am not bound by labels or pressures.
    (Nothing is lost.)
No magic button or switch decreases my value.

Still--
I get overwhelmed and disgusted.
The old judgments come pouring back in.
I crash.
I didn't wait.
(twice.)


Am I going to get hurt?
        (going to get sick?)
    easy?
        (losing myself?)
Am I throwing away my self-worth?

Many times I was warned of
        STDs.
    pregnancy.
        emotions.
    broken friendships.
        losing this magical thing that keeps me whole.

But, no.

Stop.



I deliberated.
I decided.
    They helped me.
    It was not thoughtless.
        (careless.)
        something to scratch an itch.

So, why do I think this way?
    Because there were two?
        Because I didn’t wait?
            (not supposed to think this way.)
    putting down a good thing because it isn’t “right.”

Wasn’t it right?
    It’s like I’ve forgotten how much I considered.
        (agonized.)
    mulled over the possibilities.
        (consequences.)

I chose.
I analyzed, calculated, and I chose.

Weren’t they
both special.
both valuable.
both memorable.
    and meaningful to me.

And haven’t I become
    more aware of myself as a person and a woman.
        no longer held back by fear of failure and the unforeseen.
more accepting of people and new situations.
conscious of my own needs.

I am not broken.

Good experiences.
Helpful experiences.
Wonderful experiences
    tainted by a societal idea:
        Multiple partners before marriage?
            That’s a “no-no.”

But that’s not the case.
They were a gateway.
(not a substitute for self-worth.)

I am whole in myself.
I am capable of making good choices.
I am able to overcome challenges.
(and, I am able to do it on my own.)

I am of immeasurable worth.
(no regrets.)

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Meet Our Models: Leigha

My Story
    How exactly does one write their own story? I've always though of a "story" to be so complete and final, and if that's true, how can I possibly know how to start and my own? So I shall try, as best as I can. 



My Intro to Porn
    When I was around 8, I spent the night at one of my cousins houses. When everyone was asleep, they turned on to the pay per view porn channels. I remember feeling so awkward about sneaking a peak every once in awhile. I felt even weirder with myself at how the man and woman interaction made me feel; clammy palmed, shaky and excited.

Self-Exploration
    Around the fourth grade (damn that seems so young), I learned the act of masturbation. I would sneak off to my room, lock my door, and grab a towel to use to keep my hands clean. Every time I would climax, I would feel so ashamed of myself. I would think that God would think i'm dirty and I would tell myself that I would never do it again. Even though I was never really religious, God would creep his way into my young conscience and leave me feeling guilty.

With Boys Comes Changes
    I started dating in the 7th grade. My first boyfriend was a bust but my second one was great. I remember one date was to the movies. Being on a first date at age 13, we did a lot more making out rather than watch the movie. It wasn't long before I realized that my underwear were wet. I didn't know what was wrong! I actually thought that I had pee'd myself!
    A few years later I met a guy while living in California and he made me the happiest I had been up to that point. He was sweet and truly caring towards me. He was there for me when I had no one and he stood by me even when I was being shitty. I will always cherish him for that. Anyways one day while at my house he lifted my shirt and explored my bare skin and I let him willingly. I knew I wanted more and sometime later he slipped his hands down my shorts. That was the first time I shared my "special place" with anyone.
    When I moved back to my mom's house at age 16, I decided to break up with my California boyfriend. A couple months later I was approached by a boy who is my current boyfriend. Right away we became intimate. It was exciting to learn more about the male erogenous zones and to have another person learn about my own. Even though we moved fast, I told myself that I wouldn't have sex until I was 18 and an adult. That wasn't exactly the case.

My First Time (this was hard to write)
    Waiting to have sex is very difficult. There is so much temptation when you're already intimate with a person.When I had sex for the first time, it was in the heat of the moment. I wasn't ready. It wasn't very special or anything. It was rushed and impersonal. Needless to say, I regret it. After it happened, I was very depressed. I cried myself to sleep a few times and I looked at myself differently and with shame. I put my boyfriend through a lot of distress afterwards, not even taking into consideration that it was his first time also. I don't blame my boyfriend for it at all though. I love him with all my heart. And while that was a long time ago, I still get choked up thinking about it.   

My Vulva & Me :)
    Even though I was upset with how things turned out, I now know that I can't change anything from the past. All I can do, and all I continue to do is look forward. I inform my younger sisters about their bodies and tell them to be comfortable with themselves, because no one wants to have that talk with their mothers. And even though as of July 2012, at age 18, I still haven't told my mother about my sexual activity, I know she will be supportive. I am also blessed to have shared my not-so-perfect moment with my current boyfriend. He is my best friend and he supports me no matter what. He reminds me that I am beautiful even when I don't feel that way.  But while I still see my flaws, he is helping my accept myself for who I am and what I look like. Except for these damn thighs! (just kidding)

Far From The End
     I know that it is far from over, but this is how I will end my story: One day in the future, when I am a mother, I will talk to my children about their bodies and the natural sexual activities they will experience. I will also try to be as supporting, informing, and as loving as I can be, all the while telling them that they are beautiful no matter what other people believe is the image of beauty.

"I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like
I'm fine and dandy with the me inside
One look in the mirror and i'm tickled pink
I don't give a hoot about what you think" - Weezer

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Dandelions Love Breasts: Our new Dandelion Breast Elixer is in!

Dandelions have a special proclivity for breasts.

Dandelion oil helps promote deep relaxation of breast tissue which keeps you from having sore, tender breasts. It also helps break down cysts, helps clear minor infections and relieves impacted milk glands. With all of these powers combined long term use helps reduce likelihood of developing breast cancer. 

Naturally, we had to put it into a lotion so decadent you would want to use it more than every day.
So, I blended organic dandelion oil into a rich, velvety cocoa butter cream base. Not only does cocoa butter smell and feel divine, it has long been used to help increase the elasticity of skin to help prevent the development of stretch marks.

To top all of that off I added a sprinkling of essential rose oil. Blended with the delicious smell of cocoa butter makes this stuff more addictive than lip balm: except its far better for your body.

Because not only are you regularly working to break down cysts and relax your breast tissue: your regularly massaging your breasts and when you do that you are far more likely to find any unwelcome lumps as soon as they arrive.


ingredients: water, mineral oil, glycerol stearate, cocoa seed butter, alcohol, organic dandelion oil, lanolin, rose essential oil, benzyl bezonate
*all of the ingredients are bought from companies certified as cruelty free by leapingbunny.org


Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Meet Our Models: Proudence


I Never thought that my vulva would be dirty.
Even when I realized that mine was not exactly “pretty” as ones I saw in many porn movies.
But... are they real? Maybe not.
And over all: Who decides if a vulva is “pretty”?
I'm not an expert maybe... but I never heard about canonical measure and proportions for a Vulva.
Have to read Winckelmann's ideal of beauty once again... There's something I don't get.

I can assure: my vulva is not so perfect (canonically speaking...) But she's so pretty the same!
And, to take care of her, and to cuddle her I decided to make her even more fabulous, with a inner labia piercing. That's my personal present for my 30th birthday.
Oh, I didn't tell you: my vulva has got a very big inner labia. But just one of them.
Can you believe it? So cute!

~Proudence

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Meet Our Models: Chelle


My own body image has been skewed ever since I can remember. I am and always have been overweight. If it wasn't other children poking fun at me, it was my own family. I started developing at a very young age and had my first period a few months after my 10th birthday. I remember getting teased because I was the only girl in the 4th grade that wore a bra. After I got spotted taking a pad out of my backpack, any shred of dignity I had at that point was gone. So it's no wonder I have a severe insecurity about undressing around others, especially if it is with a partner.

Since I started puberty early: my curiosities started early. My parents were exactly comfortable with explaining anything of the sexual nature with a child. My mother at times wasn't completely honest with certain things in order to steer me away from anything she considered taboo. For example, she told me that it was unhealthy for a woman to shave her public hair. It wasn't until I was a young teenager did I figure out she was full of it.

As a teenager I had a lot of emotional issues. I did not find out until I was an adult that I had borderline personality disorder. One of the signature traits of a person with BPD is the desire to inflict self harm. Promiscuity is considered one of those common ways to do so and I was rather "loosey goosey" for a good portion of my teen and early adult years. I just didn't care. A few friends of mine would ask why I would do this to myself and I really never gave them an answer. I hated my body and was scared to show it to anyone. On the other hand, I was fulfilling the desire to hurt myself and I had someone's undivided attention for a while. I was starting to feel like my vagina was so used. Especially after I gave birth to my son. He was delivered vaginally and was a bigger baby. After my son's father and I ended our relationship I feared that no one would want a 23 year old with a young kid and  (what i felt was) a damaged vagina. Luckily I was  wrong and I met a man that loves my son like his own and makes me feel like a goddess. I was diagnosed with my disorder and am going through the steps to learn how to manage it. The only good thing that came out of all the shame people put me through is my keen ability to not give a damn what people think.
                                                                                                               ~Chelle

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

The Big Coloring Book of Vaginas!

For my birthday, my best friends in the whole world totally blew my mind by having this shipped right to my door. 
Thank you, Mr. UPS man for bringing me this book of Vulvas.

I love this. So, I am going to be posting all of my most amazing {....} coloring art works here so that my friends can see just how much they made my day. 
And Chris, because you love your beard and the many others that magnificent the faces of old men: 
enjoy my dapper, bearded Vulvas.
Special for you.

I colored this one while watching My Little Pony
Dapper Version

Monday, July 2, 2012

Meet Our Models, Violet

Hello my name is Violet,
Honestly my story isn't any better than the other stories I have read here.
Reading them made me sad and a few actually brought me back to my babysitter and her boyfriend and them raping me.
 
 
 I was only 7 or 8 and prior to the rape issue my babysitter used to sit in our tree and eat the glass from the Christmas tree lights we strung in it and left in there year round. I think she could have been on drugs actually thinking about it now and being a bit older and wiser. She would invite me over and make me suck her tits in this broke down beetle that was in her back yard while she would lick me.
Even worse was the rape. She trapped me in a play pen while her boyfriend would fuck her on the bed and make me watch, then they tied me down to the bed when they were done, stripped naked. I was really scared and I didn't know what to do. She told me I shouldn't be scared and I would like it, she started making me suck her tits again and her boyfriend would rub her and then she licked me and after she got me wet enough she would put her fingers inside of me. Then her boyfriend put his nasty penis in me and it hurt. I was crying and screaming and had absolutely no idea what any of this was -but it left me very damaged and fucked up. After they were done with their twisted game she told me if I told anyone they wouldn't believe me and she would come and beat the shit out of me for snitching.
She fucked up my head so bad, I thought this was all normal behavior and not some sort of sexual deviancy.
My parents never found out about it but the rest of the neighborhood did- I used to get beaten up for it and treated like absolute shit. So I stopped socializing with people and separated myself.
It was seriously traumatizing- I thought my vagina was a bad thing. Even at a young age I started abusing it because I didn't want it attached to my body.

To make matters worse I started missing my best friend so I went over to her house to talk and listen to music and just forget about what ate away at my mind. She wasn't home but her brother in high school was.
He heard about what my crazy babysitter and her boyfriend did to me and he ended up trapping me in my best friend’s room; pinning me to the ground and smothering me. I was trying to get away but I was a small kid- I couldn't even scream for help. He ended up raping me too.
I have dealt with a lot of self hate, loathing and abuse from others I loved and let into my life. Im made me so angry at the world.
While in middle school I made what i thought was a good friend and told her about what happened in my childhood.  She was fucked up too, I think hearing my stories in graphic detail actually aroused her and she molested me.
I finally grew some balls and told her mother what she did- she just laughed at me and said I was full of shit, that I was a horrible friend and I should never speak or see her again.
I had no problem with that- my problem was that I finally told someone about an issue and was told was a liar. My anger and lashing out continued because as a child in an adult world no one takes you seriously at all.
I started getting sad and cutting myself, listening to depressed music, got into hard core gaming and drugs; anything to forget that I was who I was. I started going by another name because I hated myself and what my past was so badly that I wanted to be new and reborn.

I stopped cutting 2 years after i got out of high school but my life wasn't easy; I had crappy relationships time and time again not just people I dated relationships but friends relationships as well.
I wasn't a good person; I was damaged and I hated everything about me.
I would be lying to you all now if I said I fully love myself because I really honestly don't, but after many years of being the victim in events of my life that get even more gruesome…its pretty bad. But now where my life has taken me as of last year I have actually start accepting a lot of things.
Like people that love me for me even if I'm flawed and still have thoughts that they are going to hurt me.
Right now I have the best relationship in the world, I have good friends and I'm happier in my life; though I still have my moments it’s easier to get through.

I think with time I won’t be so filled with this dark inside me that makes me feel useless and unappreciated at times.

I have a long journey ahead of me and I don't know where my life will take me but I can say I have been living my life more care free and fresh.
I'm hoping one day I can overcome all of this and fully live.

I hope I can be an inspiration to other women: even if your life is really bad and you went through even more than me,
you just don't give up!
Be strong be positive and even if you don't fully love yourself just love yourself the best you can so you can one day love yourself more.
Eventually it does get better- it just takes time. I'm still working on my life and we can just work on it together as survivors!