Friday, July 9, 2010

Product Review: The OhMiBod Freestyle Vibator

So, what does a girl need in a vibrator and how does the Freestyle measure up?

First of all let me distinguish the Freestyle by saying that this thing wirelessly links up to your mp3 player , goes with the beat and lets you rave in your panties.
Your like the sexy lady dj at club Vulva.

All of you told me what you need on our facebook fan page so lets get right into it. Note, this is all based on my opinion. Im sure there is someone out there who's Vagina disagrees with mine re: the rating of this vibrator.

Girls looking for power, hypoallergenic material and a well made vibrator.
How the Freestyle measures up:
({*Freestyle is made using entirely body friendly, hypoallergenic materials. Pink ones that are silky smooth to top it all off.
({*No complaints from me on the quality of the vibrator. Ive had it for almost a year now, use it for several hours a week (I like to take my time) and it still works/looks like it did the glorious day it arrived at my door.
({*Power wise, on a scale of 1 - 10 (10 being the highest) I would put the highest setting available at a 10. For real.

A Girl wants to know:
Does it have variable speeds?
It has 3 different speeds and four different pre-programmed vibration patterns (for days when your mp3 player is dead but you still want to mix an imaginary beat).
Is it comfortable in your hand? Yes, but it can be a bit in the way when playing with a friend if that friend is on top and wants to get close.
Is it heavy or light weight? Its pretty light weight.
Does it heat up? No, they have vibrators that do that? Your blowing my mind.
Battery or plug in? Plug in. The charge is supposed to last 5 hours but mine only lasts 3 - which is still pretty decent. 2 hours to fully charge.
Easy to clean? Can it be submerged to clean? The material its made of is super easy to clean. The freestyle vibrator is splash resistant so you can run it under water but its not waterproof so I wouldnt suggest dunking it- though its so easy to clean you really dont have to.
Is it for internal/external/both? Both. Its not too large so you can easily position and hold for external but its large enough for internal use as well.
If its for internal stimulation, does it hit the "right spots"? My right spots are different from yours so all I can say is that it doesnt hit my g spot- its not designed with any kind of a curve to it. The variant vibrations are fun both internally and externally for sure.

What if a girl wants more? Does it have any attachments or sleeves? Just one: the pinkie sleeve. Its not available on the OhMiBod site because they are cooking up a new design but its pretty easy to find:

This guy knows what he would like: He says :"If I had a Vulva I would want a vibrator that was easy to fit in my purse, runs super quietly so that I could take it anywhere and use it during a boring business meeting. Also, I would want my vibrator to talk to my man about how to treat the clitoris". First off, this guy's non-existant Vulva knows what she likes and we love it.

So, how does the Freestyle measure up?

({* The freestyle runs very quietly. You can use it and with the doors closed your guests, family, whomever wont hear it.

({* It would fit in most purses- just not those annoyingly small Louis Vuitton bags.

That being said its not super small as it is designed for internal stimulation as well as external and its not completely soundless so I wouldnt recommend whipping it out at the office. The official Size: 8 1/4 " long and 1 1/8" in diameter.

({*Sadly the Freestyle doesnt give talks on Clitoral love- OhMiBod, do you have a suggestion box cause we like this one.

A Girl wants to know:
Is it waterproof? Its splashproof but it cant swim...yet.
Can it cook? No, but I can.

And last but not least a girl needs her spy gadgets:
Can I disguise it as an every day object? If you use it every day consider it done. Otherwise no, its pretty clearly a vibrator and the sleeve seems like it would just drive the point home hard. If you have a pinata around you could wrap some ribbon around it and say its for whacking at it.

My Personal Take:
If this vibrator cooked I would marry it.
Black No.9 + Me + The Freestyle= the key to enlightenment.
The Freestyle seems to sync up with base so choose songs that have a lot of that going on. Its super easy to clean, I take it every time I travel anywhere so its easy to pack and its pink which brings me so much joy. All that and to top it off its packaged in a mac worthy box and nestled in a velvet lined case. Thats class.
That being said I really like to take my time so while a 3 hour charge is good, 8 would be better. Also, a waterproof Freestyle that heats up would just be more than I could ever dream of.

So, on a 1 to 10 scale: 1 being an epic fail and 10 being the sex toy of the gods I would put the Freestyle at an 8...point 5. With a sleeve that has contours but doesn't look just like a penis a 9+. When it warms up, plays in water and lasts longer than I do in 3 days you have the 10 hands down. The gods in Olympus and rave in their panties all night long. Let me know when that day comes so that I can too.

I actually won the Freestyle in a contest on FeministReview, so thank you so much FeministReview and OhMiBod. I'm a poor artist and Im ok with that- but its really nice to have some of the good things in life and this one is sooooo good.

Ok, so I know you want to DJ at your panty party. You can get the Freestyle Here.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Take Care of Your Vagina!

Did you know that if you are taking antibiotics the efficacy of your birth control goes way way down and you can (very easily, I might add) get pregnant?

If your on bc and your not ready for a baby dont get frisky while taking antibiotics without a backup form of contraception because it may end poorly.

{ maternity t shirt } that I want

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

!Feliz cumpleaños, Frida!

Today is Frida Kahlo's birthday so to say feliz cumpleaños Im going to tell you about just how kick ass this
woman was.Ive already given you the break down of her life so lets
get to the good stuff.

Even in the age and society that she lived in,
Frida didnt really feel the need to live in any gender role.
She mixed and matched as she pleased.

Frida refused to remove her unibrow and the hair above her lip.
She was freaking gorgeous and that was that.

Frida was also very confidently bisexual.
While her ass of a husband was cheating on her with every woman he
could get his hands on, her sister included, Frida was having affairs with
some of the most amazing people to walk the earth: Leon Trotsky,
The beautiful Josephine Baker, Dolores Del Rio, Paulette Goddard,
and Georgia O'Keeffe to name a few.

In a few words this woman refused to be put into any box. She lived her life vibrantly and as she pleased and she didnt let anything: not her physical limitations, her husband, societal expectations and social niceties get in her way.

Thursday, July 1, 2010

July's Contest to See Who Here Has the Biggest Eggs

This month I dare all of you Clitorati to do something you havent done in a long time or always wanted to do for shame of your body.

And make it good.

Going to the store without makeup. Fail.
Spending the day at the mall without makeup - huge eggs.

Letting your partner go down on you which you havent done in forever because you are self conscious of your lady parts- huge eggs.

Take a picture (on your phone for all we care) to prove you did this. Unless of course you did my second example, in which case a photo of your partner and you with HUGE grins and thumbs up would suffice. Post what you did and a link to the picture (if you dont have an image host Flickr is awesome and easy) and you will be in the drawing. You can even post anonymously if you like- if you do rather than naming the winner I will name the act that proves they have huge eggs.

The winner gets 2, count em' 2 lip balms of their choice. The winner will be announced at the end of the month.

Let the games begin.

We are the Clitorati and we have the Eggs to Prove it

So Im at the gym and I have this brilliant strike of lighting. Here we are, the Clitorati, and what the hell are we doing?
-not much.

So, every month we are going to play truth or dare without the truth part. Im going to dare you to do something, something uncomfortable and awesome. Im going to try and make sure the dares always empower you and other women, not just one or the other. Im sure at some point I will run out of ideas and we will all throw into the challenge pot.

I'll ask for some easily attainable proof that you did said dare and provide my own, cause I sure as hell am not sitting this out. Then your name gets thrown into a box and we have a winner. The prize will depend on the difficulty of the dare.

We are The Secret Order of the Clitorati,
and we have the eggs to prove it,
and it will be epic.