I was brought up in a middle class family in Southern California where we didn’t discuss anything body-related. In fact, when I first got my period I was so embarrassed I hid it from my parents for over 6 months.
I didn’t date until I graduated high school, again because I was too embarrassed to broach the subject of sex with my parents, and they didn’t seem to want to push the topic either.
I was a reasonably active girl; I danced and was in gymnastics until I was in my mid 20’s, and people always told me I was pretty, but I couldn’t get a date to save my life. I even went stag to the senior prom… by the time I started college I had completely given up hope of ever getting a boyfriend, since every guy I had asked out had turned me down. I had resigned myself to being the “really cool aunt” or “the crazy cat lady”. I had a reasonable body and reasonable good looks, but I was completely unsure of myself. I hid my breasts as much as I could, wore baggy clothing, wore my hair simply in a braid or ponytail and did what I could to be androgynous. I was even too self conscious to masturbate or do anything of that sort, despite knowing lots of details from more experienced, older friends.
When I was 19, I had a life-changing experience- I got my first boyfriend. He was attracted to me through my ugly clothes and lack of makeup. He saw my body as curvy and beautiful, and after several months he began to teach me to appreciate myself in many, many different ways. He even went with me to Planned Parenthood for years when I went to get my birth control, until I was able to get health insurance.
A couple years later, we started working at the local Renaissance Faire- what better place to learn to take a complement and love your body! Within a year I had joined an acting group where I portrayed an Elizabethan harlot… quite a jump from the naive virgin I was 2 years earlier!
I ended up becoming the director of the group, did a TON of research on women and the dichotomy between the acceptance of prostitution during the Renaissance and the oppression of married women. Meanwhile, I learned even more to appreciate not only my beautiful body, but the variety of wonderful, encouraging, vivacious women I had befriended.
After dating my boyfriend for 7 years he asked me to be his wife. We were married October of ’07, and I have completely and totally learned to love every curve, crevasse and crease of my body. I am not skinny. My breasts are not huge. My stomach is not flat and tight. I love walking around the house naked: I am Rubenesque and damned proud of it!
I still direct and work the Renaissance Faire, and am constantly doing research on women’s history throughout the ages. I have surrounded myself with incredible women and men who believe in beauty in every form. In fact, our war cry (for lack of a better phrase) is “Flapdoodle”, which is a slang term from the late 1400’s/early 1500’s for a women’s vagina- it’s a great word for confusing people, and it’s fun to say!
If I ever have children, I know how to learn from the mistakes that my family made. It’s been centuries that women have been taught to be embarrassed of their bodies, so long that it’s almost an inherited trait. I am so glad to be living in an era where we are just starting to be able to reclaim the power and love that we were afforded in the Ancient Greek and Egyptian times, where women can be different shapes and colors and still be beautiful, sexy and intelligent.
Today is Frida Kahlo's birthday so to say feliz cumpleaños Im going to tell you about just how kick ass this
woman was.Ive already given you the break down of her life so lets
get to the good stuff.
Even in the age and society that she lived in,
Frida didnt really feel the need to live in any gender role.
She mixed and matched as she pleased.
Frida refused to remove her unibrow and the hair above her lip.
She was freaking gorgeous and that was that.
Frida was also very confidently bisexual.
While her ass of a husband was cheating on her with every woman he
could get his hands on, her sister included, Frida was having affairs with
some of the most amazing people to walk the earth: Leon Trotsky,
The beautiful Josephine Baker, Dolores Del Rio, Paulette Goddard,
and Georgia O'Keeffe to name a few.
In a few words this woman refused to be put into any box. She lived her life vibrantly and as she pleased and she didnt let anything: not her physical limitations, her husband, societal expectations and social niceties get in her way.
Before you go exploring you need some tools: *G Spot Vibrator *Lubricant *A Sweet Explorer's Hat
Which lubricant you use is up to you, just make sure you stay away from anything flavored (very sticky). The vibrator is a really important tool. I found that attempting to find it with my hand alone was highly unsuccessful and made my wrist hurt pretty sufficiently.
You have several options when choosing a G Spot vibrator. I recommend investing in these two: The first one is firm, so its very easy to move around and reposition. This will be your main tool in finding your G Spot. You can get it here: http://tinyurl.com/mfk2xu for a whopping $7.90. While its not the best quality, its very affordable, ships quickly and three months later mine is still working. A nice side-note: its waterproof.
The second one is a 'jelly'. Its soft, flexible and has a textured clitoral stimulator. Because its flexible its really not very useful in finding your G Spot because you cant reposition it or move it around- it just kind of bends. The reason I recommend it is this: once you have found your G Spot you can use this toy to stimulate both your G Spot and your Clitoris at once- which is just super. You can get it here:http://tinyurl.com/ljb3el for only $9.95. Again, not the greatest quality but if you are low on funds they ship fast, are affordable and mine still works after 3 months. This is my favorite toy so it has seen quite a bit of use in those three months. Shipping for both was about $7-8 dollars for me.
Now that your geared up lets talk about where your G Spot is and how to find it.
First things first: make sure that you are very aroused before looking around. When you are highly aroused your G Spot swells, making it easier to find. Once you're revved up, lie on your back with your legs spread and knees bent. Start by using just your fingers. With your palm facing upward, gently slide your index and middle fingers a couple of inches into your vaginal canal and make slow come-hither motions against the front of your upper vaginal wall. It will be a small area that feels spongy. If you are aroused it should be engorged, making it more prominent. If you reach a structure that feels smooth and firm, like the tip of your nose, your touching your cervix (the lower part of the uterus), and you've gone too far up.
The only way to really know if you've hit the bull's-eye is if stroking the area arouses you. Massage it in a rhythmic motion with varying amounts of pressure, switching among a flickering move, rubbing from side-to-side, or tracing circles. Don't be surprised if you feel like you have to urinate. The feeling usually subsides. If you are anything like me doing this for just a few minutes makes your wrist hurt. Switch to your G Spot vibrator. This will make it much easier to reach and make massaging side to side and tracing circles much easier.
You are probably not going to find it the first time you go looking for it. Dont let it stress you out. Try for a little while and then move on, you have another button that is fun to push. Im sure your partner is amazing but they are not going to be able to find it and then stay in exactly that position for any useful amount of time. It would be like you pointing to a spot on the wall, sending them out of the house and then telling them to come back in and find that exact spot again with the lights out.
Because of its proximity to your urethra- take it easy. Don't be rough or try for longer than 15 minutes at a time with your fingers. The last thing you want to do is give yourself a UTI. Because your vibrators are more pin pointed and smooth than your hand they are less likely to agitate your urethra.
Remember: its not likely to send you into an instant mind blowing orgasm. For some women it will feel very nice, just like a clitoral orgasm can be very nice. For some women it may feel uncomfortable, just like some women find having their nipples pinched is uncomfortable. Some may not feel anything at all and some may have a very intense orgasm. Either way chances are good all of your lady parts are functional. If you find that stimulating your G Spot is not pleasurable or is uncomfortable there are plenty of other ways to enjoy yourself.
Most importantly: Be calm. Enjoy yourself. Take your time. Getting to know yourself, your body, and your Vagina can be very fulfilling and increase your ability to express your self sexually.
I was wasting time in the forums the other day when I came along a conversation about the G spot. Of course I rushed in to see what was going on. I found, to my horror, that 98% of the people (women and men) that were part of the conversation had a very misguided idea about what the G spot is. (See picture below)
Disclaimer: Results not typical
For the VAST majority of women stimulation of the G Spot will not send them into an instant screaming orgasm. Sure, some women can do it. Some women can also orgasm with stimulation of their breasts alone. Is it common? No. Are your lady parts on the fritz because you cant squirt or have a G Spot orgasm? Definitely not.
Just like the clitoris, the G spot is a button. You don't just press down on your clitoris and wait for an orgasm to happen. The same is true for your G spot. You continually stimulate it and then you orgasm. It is very unlikely that you will fly off of the bed in rapture or squirt all over the sheets. Many women may not orgasm from stimulation of the G spot or report any pleasurable sensation at all. (Guess what? You have another, more easily located button to push).
The reports of several women I know, plus my own personal observations find that a woman's G spot orgasm will vary for each women. Some of the women say that for them there is no difference in a G spot orgasm vs a clitoral orgasm. Some women say it is slightly more intense and quick than a clitoral orgasm. Others say its a softer, slower, less pronounced orgasm than a clitoral orgasm. No instant, earth shattering orgasms were reported.
My experience is this: The G spot is a very fun button. I have several of those. When pressed separately its fun, takes me about 45 minutes to orgasm. When all are pressed sequentially its really fun and it takes me about 25 minutes to orgasm.
To sum up: If you locate and stimulate your G spot you may orgasm and you may not. The likelihood that you will have an instantaneous, intense, rapturous orgasm is pretty low.
Now that you have a realistic idea of what to expect and you are interested in trying to locate your G spot, I will explain the method I used in tomorrow's blog.
Today is July 6th, the day that Mexican painter FridaKahlo was born. A feminist before her time, she inspires many women today to live fully and express themselves openly. An independent woman, Frida refused to pluck her uni brow or 'mustache'. She celebrated them, painting them into her self portraits. She was a vibrant, sexually liberated woman. Her father is quoted as telling her future husband, "She is a devil". Her works display her preoccupation with female themes and the candor with which she expressed them has made her a feminist icon in the last decades of the 20th century.
As a celebration of her life I listed my Frida: Feminist Icon Uterus Plush today.
With all of the Frida love going around I thought I would tell you a bit about her, hopefully I can do her justice.
Frida was born on July 6th, 1926. At the age of 6 she contracted polio, which left her right leg thinner than her left. She wore full, billowing Spanish skirts to hide this fact. She was working towards being a doctor. At the age of 15 she was accepted into a prestigious medical preparatory school in Mexico City. Three years later her plans changed when she was involved in a devastating bus accident.
She suffered fractures of the back, collar bone, ribs, pelvis, shoulder, and foot. An iron handrail had pierced through her abdomen and uterus. She spent over a year immobilized in bed recovering. It was during this time that Frida turned towards painting. Her mother had an easel made for her so that she would be able to create while in bed. During the span of her life Frida went through 35 operations. She lived in constant pain that would often become so intense she would be confined to the hospital for months at a time.
Drawing from her own personal experiences stemming from her numerous operations, her marriage, and miscarriages her works are characterized by stark portrayals of pain. She is quoted saying, "I never painted my dreams. I painted my own reality". Of her 143 pieces, 55 are self portraits- most of which incorporate symbols of her physical and psychological wounds. In 1929 Frida married artist Diego Rivera, despite her mother's disapproval. Their marriage proved to be a turbulent one. Both had fiery tempers and numerousextramarital affairs, Frida's including one of my favorite women: Joesephine Baker. Diego went a step further and had an affair with Frida's sister, Christina. This enraged Frida and the couple was divorced, but not for long. The couple remarried shortly afterword and their second marriage proved to be as turbulent as the first. They kept separate living quarters.
Before she passed Frida wrote in her journal, "I hope the exit is joyful - and I hope never to return". Frida died on July 13th. 1954 at the age of 47. The official cause of death is cited as pulmonary embolism. No autopsy was preformed and some suspected that she died from an overdose that may or may not have been accidental. Days before her death her leg had been amputated at the knee and she was again bedridden.
Pads can feel like fluffy clouds, pads can love you without leaking on you, once you've tried our pads you'll marry them and most of all, Unicorns exist.
On a more serious note... with the invent of disposable menstrual products we have come to associate menstruation with filth. It's a symbol and reminder of women's ability to create life and is absolutely NOT trash, its not dirty or filthy. By washing your menstrual pads rather than throwing them away you are not only doing something good for the environment but you are honoring yourself and your body.
*How do I use my cloth menstrual pad?
They are almost identical to using disposable pads with wings. Rather than sticking to your panties they fasten closed with a metal snap.
How often do I change my VLL cloth menstrual pad?
Gush! cloth menstrual pads are more absorbent than disposable pads, so you will be able to go longer with out having to change the pad. Average is about 1 every 4-5 hours, but that varies in your flow. Like with disposable pads you will learn while using them how often you personally need to change your pads.
How absorbent are VLL cloth menstrual pads?
Our regular flow pad consists of 2 layers of flannel, 2 of cotton terry cloth, a waterproof barrier and a stain resistant vegan fleece center. How do you like them manzanas?
The waterproof barrier lines the entire bottom layer of the pad, and to top it off terry cloth is much more absorbent than the treated cotton you find in a disposable pad. So, what does that mean?
Well, I have one customer that uses the maxi versions for her mother who has some problems with incontinence (which we love! Listen, when I'm old I don't want to wear a diaper- I want to wear a freaking unicorn pad) and she swears by them. That's how absorbent they are.
What do I do with them when I need to replace them and I am not at home?
Excellent question. :)
VLL's cloth menstrual pads are designed to be able to fold and snap closed, like so:
All of the moisture is on the inside of the pad and the back of the pad- the part of the pad with the waterproof lining- is facing out, this does wonders in preventing leaks.
The easiest thing to do is fold them up and place them in a waterproof bag. Many women use zip lock bags. If you are looking for something more eco-friendly and discreet we sell leak resistant wet bags that have two separate sections: one for used pads and one for clean pads.
How do I wash my Gush! cloth menstrual pads?
Give your pad a good rinse in the sink, wring them out and repeat until the water you wring out is clear. If you have dark colored pads and see no stains your done! Just throw your pad in the wash with your other clothes.
If you see a stain and you want it gone, fill the bathroom sink or a plastic container with warm water and hydrogen peroxide. Let it sit for an hour or so. {If you have a really stubborn stain pour some fresh warm water and mix in one scoop of Oxyclean. Let it sit for an hour or so. Works every time) Then, wring out one last time and throw it in the laundry pile. That's it. Seriously, wring it out- throw it in a pile and move on with your life.
How much money will I actually save by switching to VV cloth menstrual pads?
If you spend just $8.00 monthly on your disposable menstrual products (likely you spend more) you are spending $96.00 yearly. Every 5 years you are spending $480. 2 sets of VLL pads will cost you $115.00, saving you $198. If you care for your pads they will last even longer than 5 years, saving you more.
How many do I need?
This really depends on your personal flow and how often you do laundry.
Our basic sets are a beautiful way to start-
Find out how often you need to change them, how often you wash them and go from there. We find that the heaviest of flow with the woman that hates laundry the most (ok, yes, Im talking about me...) only needs 5 liners and 1 maxi to go the entire week without washing clothes. We sell the main sets with 4 pads each and then if you find you need to add only 2 you can totally do that- and in a different, fabulous pattern.
Variety really is the spice of life.
Are VLL cloth menstrual pads comfortable?
The base of the pad is made of soft vegan flannel- on both sides. And the center piece is made of this ultra soft vegan fleece that molds to your body like some kind of.. Vulva magic.
We promise you no crinkling, no bulkiness, and none of that taking a small breath before pulling out your tampon feeling.
When we say they feel like clouds, we are 100% for real.
Will my VLL menstrual pads leak?
They hold 3x more liquid than other cloth/store bought pads and they are fully lined with leak-resistant fabric. Now, just like any menstrual product if you are having a really heavy day and don't check on them or change them for hours you may end up with a leak- but with our pads you are much less likely to run into that problem.
Is there an odor problem with Gush! cloth menstrual pads?
VLL pads breath more than disposable pads- which should make them smell, right?
Actually, it helps keep your pad drier- so you will find that you don't have an odor care in the world.
How long will they last?
At the very least they will last you 3 years- if you totally don't bother to take care of them.
Depending on how well they are cared for they can last up to 7. Instructions for care are included with your order, but they are pretty much the same as you find here. So, taking good care of them really isn't hard.
Are they sanitary?
Yes. When you prick your finger it's not un-sanitary, same concept. Plus, like you panties, VLL pads are worn outside of your body, not in- tampons really just holds the menstrual blood in the vaginal canal and that can cause some problems. Not from the blood but from the tampon. Toxic shock much? And if you don't think it happens, take a look.
Menstruation is a natural, harmless substance that is in no way harmful or unsanitary.
So this all sounds too good to be true, but we can prove it.
Use tampons?
We promise once you try our cloth pads you will never go back. Don't believe this fairy tale? Here is a review we got on Betty Dodson's site. Yes, Betty Dodson. {Freakin love her}
I went to the Magic Kingdom for my birthday. I had not been in years and quickly came to the realization that a lot didnt register. I went back, watched some old movies and some of the new shows.
Let me share with you what I, and likely many children, have learned from Mickey:
Lets start out with a favorite:
Snow White
Snow White has very soft, feminine facial features. Her jaw line is soft, her eyebrows up high, and her nose small. She is the 'good girl' in the story.
The evil queen on the other hand has very masculine facial features. She has a defined jawline and cheekbones and her eyebrows are lower, thicker. She is obviously the 'bad girl' in the story.
What I learned: Masculine women are not as attractive as feminine women. Masculine women hate feminine women and want more than anything to be considered conventionally 'pretty', not to mention the fact that the masculine female is the evil character.
Jack Sparrow is cool, right?
Pirates are awesome, no lie. Apparently, so is the objectification of women.
Look, a wench auction! You can just buy women! And the one in red seems ok with it.
Now, dont get me wrong, I understand that historically pirates and the rape/kidnapping of women go hand in hand. But just like portraying smoking in childrens movies is a no no, in a children's theme park you might want to avoid this imagry. And yes, young children around the age of 5 do enjoy this ride. They were sitting infront of us looking adorable.
The Disney Channel rocks my socks: In just under one hour of watching the Disney channel these are some things that zipped by me:
From the Suite Life of Zac and Cody:
Women are obsessed with precious stones – the episode begins with a character counting her stones and throwing out gold. Gold is so cheap, eww.
Women are complete idiots and they are not expected to work- “Oh no, daddy is going to fire me!” “You don’t work here…” “He’s already done it?!?” “Calm down, you never did work and you never have to work” “Yay me!”
When women have the voice of an infant they are more likable.
Hungarian women are overweight, have unibrows, manly voices, and its humorous to make fun of them.
Men are clumsy – The plumber bumps his head, wrecks the lobby, injures the butler dispenses mail throughout the lobby and the crowd there-in, the boys ruin a painting/frame, the butler knocks over a precious vase…
Men are greedy “Mom, we want you to get that bonus so that you can spend it all on us”, the Butler holds the family hostage so that he can obtain a raise
Women and gay men cook, straight men eat and judge their food : there is a kitchen scene 5 women and1 gay male are cooking, the straight male (the chef) does nothing but go around tasting everything and informing everyone of how terrible it is
Women are jealous of one another and fight over their appearances: Two girls fight because one has taken the ‘look’ of the other, they proceed to rip hair/clothes and break heels. Because that is how all girls fight.
Asian women don’t know how to drive: A character does not know what the gear shift is, then crashes the car into the hotel lobby.
All in one episode! Amazing!
Hannah Montana
Women wear makeup in the morning and when going to bed.
Men are filthy, spit, leave their filthy underwear in every place imaginable, eat someone elses week old sandwich
Only ugly women play chess. Also, its humorous to make fun of them.
I cant watch this any more.
Even Stevens:
Intelligent, studious girls are bitches that will step on anyone to get ahead.
All in under an hour. Now that is some Disney magic. :)
