There's a new product on the market and we don't even need to tell you why it is completely, horrendously disgusting.
The website will do that for you.
*For your own well being, we marked out the name of said product. If you really want to google it, trust us, it wont be hard*
Now, don't get me wrong.
Finding women to be sexy, alluring, erotic: that's all good. We are all of those things and MORE.
But this takes creeper to a whole new level. And for all of us brunettes, redheads, gray goddesses and other non-blonds: apparently our Vulva's don't smell erotic enough for the male public . That goes for anyone over the age of 19 and over size 1 in skinny jeans.
Dear strange men that I don't know:
GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY VULVA
She doesn't know you and she doesn't want to know you.
I went to the Magic Kingdom for my birthday. I had not been in years and quickly came to the realization that a lot didnt register. I went back, watched some old movies and some of the new shows.
Let me share with you what I, and likely many children, have learned from Mickey:
Lets start out with a favorite:
Snow White
Snow White has very soft, feminine facial features. Her jaw line is soft, her eyebrows up high, and her nose small. She is the 'good girl' in the story.
The evil queen on the other hand has very masculine facial features. She has a defined jawline and cheekbones and her eyebrows are lower, thicker. She is obviously the 'bad girl' in the story.
What I learned: Masculine women are not as attractive as feminine women. Masculine women hate feminine women and want more than anything to be considered conventionally 'pretty', not to mention the fact that the masculine female is the evil character.
Jack Sparrow is cool, right?
Pirates are awesome, no lie. Apparently, so is the objectification of women.
Look, a wench auction! You can just buy women! And the one in red seems ok with it.
Now, dont get me wrong, I understand that historically pirates and the rape/kidnapping of women go hand in hand. But just like portraying smoking in childrens movies is a no no, in a children's theme park you might want to avoid this imagry. And yes, young children around the age of 5 do enjoy this ride. They were sitting infront of us looking adorable.
The Disney Channel rocks my socks: In just under one hour of watching the Disney channel these are some things that zipped by me:
From the Suite Life of Zac and Cody:
Women are obsessed with precious stones – the episode begins with a character counting her stones and throwing out gold. Gold is so cheap, eww.
Women are complete idiots and they are not expected to work- “Oh no, daddy is going to fire me!” “You don’t work here…” “He’s already done it?!?” “Calm down, you never did work and you never have to work” “Yay me!”
When women have the voice of an infant they are more likable.
Hungarian women are overweight, have unibrows, manly voices, and its humorous to make fun of them.
Men are clumsy – The plumber bumps his head, wrecks the lobby, injures the butler dispenses mail throughout the lobby and the crowd there-in, the boys ruin a painting/frame, the butler knocks over a precious vase…
Men are greedy “Mom, we want you to get that bonus so that you can spend it all on us”, the Butler holds the family hostage so that he can obtain a raise
Women and gay men cook, straight men eat and judge their food : there is a kitchen scene 5 women and1 gay male are cooking, the straight male (the chef) does nothing but go around tasting everything and informing everyone of how terrible it is
Women are jealous of one another and fight over their appearances: Two girls fight because one has taken the ‘look’ of the other, they proceed to rip hair/clothes and break heels. Because that is how all girls fight.
Asian women don’t know how to drive: A character does not know what the gear shift is, then crashes the car into the hotel lobby.
All in one episode! Amazing!
Hannah Montana
Women wear makeup in the morning and when going to bed.
Men are filthy, spit, leave their filthy underwear in every place imaginable, eat someone elses week old sandwich
Only ugly women play chess. Also, its humorous to make fun of them.
I cant watch this any more.
Even Stevens:
Intelligent, studious girls are bitches that will step on anyone to get ahead.
All in under an hour. Now that is some Disney magic. :)
