* Take a picture of a Vulva Pendant or a Uterus plushie at a well known landmark in any country
(famous people count as landmarks)
* Post the pic to our Facebook page or E-mail it to us
(Be sure to let us know where you are!)
*We will message/e-mail you a 20% discount code for your next purchase
The Rules:
*The picture has to be at a well known (it has a Wikipedia page, IMDB page) landmark or with a celebrity. Your backyard and your grandma, while awesome, won't work.
(To keep things fair, if your landmark is questionable the three employees; Me, Dana and Misty will take a vote)
*The picture must have one of our Vulva pendants or Uterus Plushies in it
Hello all of you Beautiful ladies! I would like you to meet Chelle. She just turned 25 and for her birthday she had a talk with Lissa Rankin of Whats Up Down There. You can read the whole story here (you really want to, its fantastic! )but I will do my best to break it down for you.
Chelle was born with a Terrier Cleft. Its a type of facial cleft that goes all the way through her lip to her palate, through her nose and between what would have been her eyes, which she was born without. In those 25 years she has undergone 66 surgeries.She's one tough lady.
When she talked with Lissa she told her something amazing: her dream. Her very attainable dream. She wants to go to Africa to hold babies and help disabled children so that they know they are loved, that they are precious and that their lives matter. She wants to live in her own home surrounded by animals. It really boils down to: She wants to spread the love. So, here's the deal. I've whipped up a custom Chelle uterus plushie and we are auctioning her off right here, right now, to get Chelle that new place, work clothes, money for the bus and anything else she needs.
The Order of the Clitorati is a group of people with one thing in common: Vulva Love. Whether its love of their Vulva, other's Vulvas or a delightful combination of both. They have come together to change the way the world looks at our Vulvas. They demand universal Vulva Love. They also demand candy, delicious candy.
Members of the Clitorati get special privileges at VulvaLoveLovely. There are listings available only to members. There will be sales that only members can take advantage of. In the future there will be a Vulvalicious Clitorati membership package that only the Order will have access to and with any luck: secret decoder rings. Also, delicious candy.
To become a member all you have to do is become a VulvaLoveLovely Facebook fan. This is how the Order communicates and receives updates. You will find most communication in the discussion boards.
Once you have become a fan e-mail me at VulvaLoveLovely@Gmail.com with your name and you will receive an e-mail back with the word sacred to the Clitorati. You will use this word when accessing listings/sales/and other manner of secrecy limited to the Order. That is all your e-mail will be used for. All other notifications will be given through Facebook.
I went to the Magic Kingdom for my birthday. I had not been in years and quickly came to the realization that a lot didnt register. I went back, watched some old movies and some of the new shows.
Let me share with you what I, and likely many children, have learned from Mickey:
Lets start out with a favorite:
Snow White
Snow White has very soft, feminine facial features. Her jaw line is soft, her eyebrows up high, and her nose small. She is the 'good girl' in the story.
The evil queen on the other hand has very masculine facial features. She has a defined jawline and cheekbones and her eyebrows are lower, thicker. She is obviously the 'bad girl' in the story.
What I learned: Masculine women are not as attractive as feminine women. Masculine women hate feminine women and want more than anything to be considered conventionally 'pretty', not to mention the fact that the masculine female is the evil character.
Jack Sparrow is cool, right?
Pirates are awesome, no lie. Apparently, so is the objectification of women.
Look, a wench auction! You can just buy women! And the one in red seems ok with it.
Now, dont get me wrong, I understand that historically pirates and the rape/kidnapping of women go hand in hand. But just like portraying smoking in childrens movies is a no no, in a children's theme park you might want to avoid this imagry. And yes, young children around the age of 5 do enjoy this ride. They were sitting infront of us looking adorable.
The Disney Channel rocks my socks: In just under one hour of watching the Disney channel these are some things that zipped by me:
From the Suite Life of Zac and Cody:
Women are obsessed with precious stones – the episode begins with a character counting her stones and throwing out gold. Gold is so cheap, eww.
Women are complete idiots and they are not expected to work- “Oh no, daddy is going to fire me!” “You don’t work here…” “He’s already done it?!?” “Calm down, you never did work and you never have to work” “Yay me!”
When women have the voice of an infant they are more likable.
Hungarian women are overweight, have unibrows, manly voices, and its humorous to make fun of them.
Men are clumsy – The plumber bumps his head, wrecks the lobby, injures the butler dispenses mail throughout the lobby and the crowd there-in, the boys ruin a painting/frame, the butler knocks over a precious vase…
Men are greedy “Mom, we want you to get that bonus so that you can spend it all on us”, the Butler holds the family hostage so that he can obtain a raise
Women and gay men cook, straight men eat and judge their food : there is a kitchen scene 5 women and1 gay male are cooking, the straight male (the chef) does nothing but go around tasting everything and informing everyone of how terrible it is
Women are jealous of one another and fight over their appearances: Two girls fight because one has taken the ‘look’ of the other, they proceed to rip hair/clothes and break heels. Because that is how all girls fight.
Asian women don’t know how to drive: A character does not know what the gear shift is, then crashes the car into the hotel lobby.
All in one episode! Amazing!
Hannah Montana
Women wear makeup in the morning and when going to bed.
Men are filthy, spit, leave their filthy underwear in every place imaginable, eat someone elses week old sandwich
Only ugly women play chess. Also, its humorous to make fun of them.
I cant watch this any more.
Even Stevens:
Intelligent, studious girls are bitches that will step on anyone to get ahead.
All in under an hour. Now that is some Disney magic. :)
There is a part of your body that changes daily. It serves as a passage way for old blood and new life. It expands, changes color and if you watch it you can tell whether or not you are ovulating, where you are in your cycle, and if you pregnant.
Have you seen it?
No?
Isnt that crazy! There is a part of your body that is completely epic and you have never seen it. I thought it was completely insane and I had to take a look.
I looked for at least an hour. I couldnt believe that the small thing I was looking at, my cervix, could do something like bring a person into this world. I started to look at her daily. Now I can tell you whether I am ovulating, about to ovulate, or when I am just a few days away from menstruation. If it ever happens I will know very quickly that I am pregnant.
Perhaps you should take a minute to look at yours. Here is what you need: A speculum (you can get one here: http://www.fwhc.org/sale3.htm#plainspec) A flash light A hand mirror Lubricant
How to do it:
Put some KY jelly or water onto the bills (the rounded part ) which you will insert into your vagina) . Take a deep breath. As you exhale, let your muscles relax. To insert the speculum, hold it in one hand, handles up, bills together. Using your other hand, spread the labia and insert the bills of the speculum as you would a tampon.
When you have inserted it as far as it will comfortably go, open the bills using the mechanism on the handles that you practiced with earlier. You will feel the speculum stretch your vagina open. Lock the speculum into place. Then you can let go of it. With both your hands free, you can now hold the flashlight and mirror. Shine the beam of the flashlight into the mirror so it reflects into the vagina lighting up the internal space. Or shine the flashlight directly inside. Adjust the mirror and flashlight so you can see inside. At the back of your vagina is your cervix. It looks like a small donut with a very small opening in the center.
When you are finished, unlock and close the speculum. Then slowly and gently pull the speculum out. You may smell the speculum to become familiar with your natural smell of secretions and examine the mucus picked up on the speculum. An acidic smell is not unusual. A yeasty or fishy odor may indicate an infection.
What you see The cervix appears as a rounded or flattened knob about the size of a quarter or half-dollar. The hole or opening in the center is called the cervical os.
If you cannot see your cervix, unlock the speculum , change the direction the bills are pointed, then reopen it. It may help to sit on a firmer surface, like the floor. If after a few tries you are unable to find your cervix, wait a few days and try again. The cervix moves somewhat during the menstrual cycle and may be easier to see in a few days.
What to look for:
Mucus: Mucus is natural. The character of the mucus changes throughout the menstrual cycle in response to hormones. It ranges from pasty-white (non-fertile) to clear and stretchy egg-white texture (fertile). The picture below is a cervix during ovulation.
Color and Texture: Cervical bluing may be the first sign that a woman is pregnant. Fifty percent of women who are pregnant will have a blue or purplish colored cervix due to an increase in blood circulation. During pregnancy, the cervix may also look puffy and softer and the os more open.
by Gloria Bertonis, M.Ed. from the book Stone Age Divas
"Cuneiform", the most ancient form of writing, derives from "kunta" meaning "female genitalia" in Sumerian of ancient Iraq. "Kunta" is "woman" in several Near Eastern and African languages and a Mother Tongue that is being compiled by linguists today. It was also spelled "quna," which is the root of "queen." Since priestesses were known to be accountants/administrators of Temple of Inanna in Sumeria c.3100 B.C. when Cuneiform was first used, it is highly likely that cuneiform was "the sign of the kunta" who kept the books (clay tablets) for the temple economy/redistribution of wealth that evolved from communal economics of ancient mother-cultures.
So when an abuser calls a woman a "cunt" he is actually calling her a "queen who invented writing and numerals."
ORIGINS OF THE WORD VAGINA
From the Doctors at MedicineNet.com
"The word "vagina" is a Latin word meaning "a sheath or scabbard", a scabbard into which one might slide and sheath a sword. The "sword" in the case of the anatomic vagina was the penis."
Taking that into account I choose between a queen who invented writing and numerals and a holding place for a penis. I chose Cunt. I sing Cunt. I love Cunt.
To all of my lovely Etsy-friends, Vulva Love Lovely is going to go under construction! With the big move for grad school hopefully coming soon its time to primp and polish my shop, so keep an eye on her. ;) If any of you lovely people would like to look her over and send me a critique I would be so so thankful, and of course would return the favor.
So, Im cleaning my house in my tank top and its hot. I wipe the sweat off of my chest and then feel this tiny pain, like a light bruise. So, I decide the best thing to do is go back to that spot and poke at it.
Its a massive lump.
There is a massive lump on my breast and I have no health insurance. So, I do the first thing that comes to mind. Call my mommy.
She proceeds to tell the entire family, then friends of the family, then just friends. Apparently once I tell her the information becomes public information.
The next day Im in tears. My great grandmother and my grandmother had breast cancer. Im only 23, this is impossible. Its probably a cyst. I take the next morning off from work so that I can spend a few hours with my partner, I need comforting. We get up, make some cinnamon rolls, its great.
Then I get an e-mail from my cousin, a text message from my mom's employee, and a call from my aunt all offering there sympathy. Did I die and just not realize it? Many of them made it a point to note hair loss. It really helped to calm me down. Do they know I havent been to the doctor yet, that no one is saying cancer?
My partner's father is an OBGYN. We called him immediately, he thinks Im too young for cancer and that its likely a cyst. Then again, breast cancer runs in my family... He offers to give me a breast exam for free while Im trying to figure out what to do as far as insurance goes.
Im touched, but I dont want to be touched. For now, Im going to pass.
My application and credit card information is with the insurance company, 7-10 days. So, no doctors appointment, no mammogram, no ultrasound for 7-10 days. No answers for 7-10 days.
