Dear Miss Lady,
We have had a long, rough road together these last 20+ years, and I figured this year I should show you some love for Valentines Day.
Ever since I was a little girl, I knew you were special. I had to treat you like a princess so you wouldn't get sick, since you have always been prone to sickness. I've taken you to the doctor more than I've taken myself; I think I finally know the right way to care for you! You only like the finest things in life, so I will give them to you because I love you. You hate many soaps, many love things, many medications, and only one man has been able to catch your eye.
I love you because you have shown me love, and you have given me life even though it was taken from me. You have given me the greatest gift of all, and I am forever grateful. You are physically beautiful, and even my fiancé loves you. I think he loves you almost as he loves me!
Enjoy this Valentines Day, Miss Lady, and know that you are loved. You won't get a kiss for V-Day because I have to take you to work with me, but I'll make sure you get some lovin'.